mushakian.com – All things Mushakian, especially as they relate to Mark & Sydney

Five Years Of Marriage

How it started. @our wedding, Sep. 2019!

Oh, hello – been a while, eh? Just over 3 years, actually, since my last post here; I think that easily fits the definition of “a while.” Rest assured, the Mushakians of Mushakian.com are alive and healthy, we just fell out of practice of writing here. Well, no more! I had considered doing this sooner — writing about life again, sharing new hobbies, and discussing the downs and ups of the last several years. I figured, though, if I’m going to do that, I better start off with the biggest up and the most important person in my life… my wife!

As of today, Sydney and I have been married for five years. It’s been a darn good five years, too, so in honor of our first half-decade together as husband and wife, please join me for a little stroll down memory lane as I look at each year we’ve been hitched. This won’t be an extensive historical presentation (mainly because I’m old and forgetful), but more of an expanded bullet-point list with focus on the relational.

Year One

I previously covered the first couple of months of our wedded bliss in a Thanksgiving Day post, and then shed a little more light on our life together while writing about the first month of quarantine, back when I thought dealing with the initial Covid shutdown for just 35 days was a long time — so young, so innocent.

The first 6 months of our marriage were fairly routine: going to church, seeing family, exploring what living with each other was like day in and day out. We worked in office buildings that were literally right next to each other, so we carpooled to and from work, which was fun. It was all fun, really. For our first Halloween as husband and wife, we took part in an event with our church youth group where we dressed up as a zombie bride and groom, which was a hit, and then for Christmas we bought a real tree which was Sydney’s first real Christmas tree that she could remember. Marriage is interesting, that way, in that there are very obvious first experiences, but then there are the smaller and more subtle firsts that sort of happen organically and can be easy to miss. I think that’s what a lot of marriage is – having first experiences together, positive and negative, and then learning how to address that newness. There was a first time for one of us getting upset by the other’s tone or one of us feeling disappointed when expectations aren’t met, and then we needed to figure out how to work through that. Sometimes we got these things first try, other times it took a while.

One of the more interesting “first experiences” was actually a global one — when the world shut down for Covid. From March 19, 2020, when CA lockdown first went into place, through our first anniversary, it was just the two of us and our new cat in our apartment. The back half of our first year being married contained a couple of years’ worth of togetherness compressed into several months. Talk about a stress test for the strength of a new marriage! Thankfully, we kinda really like each other, so as someone I know phrased it about their spouse, “Thanks, Past-Me, for picking the ideal quarantine partner.”

There were definitely negative sides in this home to the Covid lockdown period, though. After months of it, Sydney started to struggle with the isolation and not being able to go outside. For her birthday, I wrote a short story that was supposed to be a fun little escape (it was a fantasy tale), but when she finished reading she got teary-eyed real fast as we talked about it. Why? Because I started the story by having the characters go out on a date — and it had been a long time since she and I had been able to go basically anywhere in real life. I held my wife in a long hug, laughing at the fact that my big present to her was to make her cry. The next day we went out to the beach, I believe, for some needed escape.

Our first year of marriage in lockdown also saw a damper to our social life. We had been excited to have friends over, host church groups at our home, and enjoy the relational aspects of being newlyweds amongst our peers, but in our new quarantined world, that just couldn’t happen. We didn’t have a huge social circle to begin with, but it shrunk during Covid and then didn’t really bounce back the same after. Oof, I better be careful here or I’m going to unintentionally make my wife sad with what’s supposed to be a fun story again!

I don’t need to explain the lockdown too much, because we all went through it together, but it definitely made for an interesting last half of the first year of marriage.

Year Two

If only stopping real-life pandemics was so simple…

We started our second year of marriage by dipping (then diving) into a new hobby — boardgames. Coincidentally, the first hobby boardgame we bought and played in this new endeavor was Pandemic, which had a strangely cathartic feeling to it, playing to victory in elminating a global pandemic in the game while the world was still mostly hiding away. We weren’t going out to enjoy holidays with family, so Covid continued to put a strange spin on our first experiences as a married couple. Since I worked in healthcare, I was part of the first wave of folks who could get the new Covid vaccine, so in January of 2021, I joined hundreds of others at Petco stadium and took the first step towards reclaiming normalcy. As shots became more available for all, we eventually were all safe enough to be able to see my parents in person again, for a couple of birthday celebrations in May of 2021. The next month we met my friend’s second child, and the world was coming back to normal.

So much so, that we were able to actually do something special for our second anniversary and took a week-long trip to Solvang, CA. It was very good for us to be able to celebrate each other and being together, though as with anything in life, the trip wasn’t perfect at every turn. That’s something I’ve learned a lot while being with Sydney; there are ups and downs, disappointments and hurting each other, and that is all very normal. I grew up experiencing my fair share of my parents fighting, and Sydney’s parents divorced when she was young, so it would be easy for us to be scared of these moments — for me to cling to the fear that when something isn’t going perfectly something must be wrong. But I love my wife, and for every minor rough patch or unpleasant first experience we’ve come across, we’ve also seen it through together.

Any relationship that’s even semi-deep will change you in some ways, and all the more is that the case in marriage. I’ll use myself as the example here, but I can have very strong opinions on art. I strive not to be a jerk about it and unnecessarily tear down something someone loves, but if they ask my opinion… they’ll get it. Sydney, though, would sometimes get hurt by this intensity, and I had two choices: to continue and hurt her a little each time, or to learn. I chose the latter. I remember the impetus of this choice very clearly, when we watched a movie that she really enjoyed, and when it was over, while I kept my negative opinion of it to myself, she asked what I thought — so I told her, very directly, that I hated it. We talked our way through that situation, both in the moment and then later after giving things a bit to breathe (another important life/marriage lesson). She taught me how to soften my approach even more than I thought I already had, and I can say that in this and so many other ways, I am a better person for having known her.

Year Three

Despite vaccinations and a world that had mostly returned to normal, Covid wasn’t done messing with us yet, and in May of our third year of marriage I finally caught it for the first time — and then shared it with Sydney just in time for her birthday. So let’s keep tabs here: I’ve given her a gift that made her sad, given her Covid. Yeesh. There’s a reason she’s the gift-giver in this home! 🙂

My wonderfully weird wife loves Halloween and spookiness, so combine that with her great creative mind, and she’s come up with some really fun homemade costumes. Case in point, in this third year of marriage she made a large paper-mache pumpkin head and transformed herself into the Pumpkin Lady. I enjoyed just being her assistant for this project: being a second set of hands while building the head structure and snapping pictures for a photoshoot. That’s been some of the more fun times in marriage with Sydney, the times when she’s the shining star and I get to just be there alongside her for whatever she might need from me. She’s put that creativity into a lot of different hobbies and projects over the years, and I’m glad to be a helping hand, but more often I’m just her cheerleader, there to encourage her when she gets tired and then to be able to proudly draw attention to the wonderful final product! I’m proud of a lot of what she makes, and I’m always looking forward to her next endeavor.

Year Four

My model wife! Stunning me during a trip to the S.D. Botanic Gardens. I’ve stared at this picture a lot.

For our fourth Halloween together (is this a marriage post or a Halloween post?? Yes.), I took us up to Orange to take part in a haunted city walk. We got to downtown early, and spent the afternoon exploring the many vintage thrift stores and other interesting shops. Her feet started giving out, sooner than I’d planned, so we ended up needing to just rest up and pass the time in my car. We had hours until the event started, so we ended up watching a children’s Halloween movie she grew up with. There was a time when that sort of experience might have put a damper on the day. Heck, that sort of damper even happened during our previous anniversary trip to Solvang, but we’d grown since then. We adapted to the situation and ended up having a fun time together before the spooky night walk… and then we had fun doing that, too! Sydney is really easy to have fun with, and over the years we’ve only continued to have more and more fun together, so long as I can escape the impossible idea of perfection and she can remember to stay adaptable. I married her because she felt like home, but I had no idea just how much more comfortable she would feel only four years later.

Speaking of which, we celebrated our fourth anniversary by attending one night of the local outdoor music festival Ohana Fest. Sydney had lamented how she wished she could see her favorite band, Haim, in concert. They were touring with Taylor Swift, of whom neither of us is a fan, but I discovered that the band would be a headline act at this festival so I surprised her with tickets. That’s one of the more fun things in marriage — getting to surprise each other. It starts with listening, but ultimately boils down to knowing the other person. After being together for several years, it’s been interesting to experience just how much more natural that’s become. It’s a joy to be able to read her better each day, and to have her understand me more and more, and I love that I get to partner with this woman for the rest of our days. If it’s this good now, I can only imagine years 10, 25, 40, etc.!

Year Five

This past year has felt like our most settled and in-the-groove yet, even though it still brought plenty of changes. We finally bought Sydney a new car and I started pursuing help for my ADHD. Marriage is, in many ways, about being entirely oneself and comfortable with each other, so when the October 2023 eclipse happened, we stood out in our apartment parking lot with a simple cereal box sun-viewer I’d made — just looking like a couple of dorks and not caring at all. For our Halloween costume this year, she became an earthy Fair Queen and elected me to be her companion Mushroom Gnome. We worked together to create my giant mushroom hat, but when it was all felted and stuffed, I put it on and my heart sank — it was just too heavy. I tried really hard to move slowly and ignore it, but I knew that if I attempted to wear that thing for longer than a few minutes I was going to be in pain. I felt really bad that we’d wasted so much time and effort in putting that thing together, especially because I was the one who decided how big to make it. I was further disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to participate in her costume with her — at least, not as planned. That was, until I came home from work one day to discovered that in an afternoon she’d simply created a smaller mushroom hat using a wide-brimmed hat as a base. I had been so down about it all, but then she simply went ahead and fixed the whole situation. As well as we know each other, she still manages to surprise me in the best of ways sometimes!

I also started cooking our dinners for us this year. We had gotten into a habit of eating separately fairly frequently, and I wanted to get us eating healthier, too, so I decided to take the reigns of cooking dinner for us every night. The arrangement works out well, because I loathe having to clean dishes, and she hates the stress of having to plan dinners, so we work together to do that which the other dislikes, and it’s been a great plan. I’ve felt freed from the worry of dirty dishes to be more creative and explore making things I wouldn’t have if I had to bother cleaning up after, and she loves that I’m cooking for us. I don’t always want to make dinner, sure, but on those days my doing so is all the more an act of love, so I buckle down and do it.

Or we order a pizza, but that works, too. Marriage!

Continuing Onward

I love my wife, and I wouldn’t have wanted to live these first five years of marriage with anyone else. She’s hilarious and sweet, steady and creative, and every day that I get to know her is an improvement to my life. We are good for each other, and five years of marriage has shown me so much in terms of what love really looks like. I can’t wait until my Ten Years Of Marriage post, to see how much more we’ve explored together, but all in due time.

I could never sum up the entirety of our marriage in a single post — every way we’ve grown, every inside joke and memory. Not possible. For now, I’m going to simply wrap up with a heartfelt “I love you, Wife. Happy Anniversary!” and get ready to enjoy our special day together. And then go out to pay someone else to make us dinner tonight and let them clean the darn dishes!

How it’s going. @San Diego Zoo to see Pandas!

P.S. – As for this blog, I’ve mapped out a few catch-up-on-life posts to come out over the next few weeks, many of which were already referenced in this post, and then I’m aiming to keep up with more regular writing here. At least semi-regular writing. Unfortunately, the handcrafted anniversary gift that I’ve been working on isn’t done on time to share a photo of it here, but keep an eye out for it in my upcoming post… on woodworking. 🙂

One Step At A Time

Completing goals is usually doable, so long as one takes the right approach.

There are a lot of steps in that image; one, two, three — okay, I’m not going to count each one, but it looks to be roughly “many,” give or take. Now, imagine that this staircase is a project and reaching the top is representative of completing said project. There are a couple of options that would increase the likelihood of failure:

attempt to jump to the last few steps in one, initial leap and either hurt yourself or quit when you didn’t magically make it to the top
look up at how many steps there are and feel overwhelmed enough to petrify in place and never start

Personally, I am guilty of absolutely both of these. I have improved in these areas tremendously over the years, but they still occasionally rear their head. Case in point, a few weeks ago I had to overcome option 2, and I thought it worth addressing here.

I Just Want To Write!

When I first started this site, I designed it all from the ground up. We use blogging software, yes, but I created the whole visual layout myself. That takes a while, especially when my coding knowledge is only light hobby level. And as hard as I worked on it, over time little errors had started to pop up here and there anyways. Our website was operational, but it had some back-end annoyances and design issues that needed to be fixed.

That isn’t a problem when the site is going unused for months at a time, but this is where my problem came in.

I enjoy creative writing. It’s something I’ve fallen in and out of habit with, but I recently chose to push back through it again and finish a few little tales I’d started. This site is a great venue to be able to host my short stories, but I didn’t want to have to go through a huge ordeal of hunting down errors and making the site work well enough to direct folks to it again.

So, I stood at the base of those steps and looked up, almost petrified. The top of the stairs was publishing my next short story on our site here, but the many steps between me and that goal not only included the actual writing and editing, but also fixing up the site by redesigning, teaching myself new code, and hunting down tons of errors as I rebuild it all up again from semi-scratch. That’s a lot of steps for that goal, but it’s also unnecessarily complicated.

Tip #1: Simplify, maaaan!
If your goal seems far away, analyze the steps to see if they need to be as complex as initially thought.

Look, what is the point of this site? Well, it’s a blog and occasionally I may host a short story. That’s about it. I don’t need to overcomplicate things by having complete control over the design and focusing so much on the aesthetic when that really isn’t what anyone’s going to come here for. There are tons of serviceable pre-made designs that I could use with a simply click of a button, so I did exactly that! Boom, I just shrunk the number of steps between me and the top goal, but there were still plenty to go.

Tip #2: Just focus on the one step in front of you!
Worrying about steps 22-68 doesn’t do much for you if you’re still standing on step 5.

These aren’t new or revolutionary ideas I’m sharing here, but even as I push towards my 40th birthday next year, I still need regular reminders about these things — maybe you do, too!

So, my final bit of advice here is to look at just what’s in front of you. This, for me, extends into so many areas of my life. There are several things I like to do each morning (read my Bible, exercise, shower, etc.), but if I am even just a few minutes late in getting out of bed, it is very easy to just throw the whole plan out because I don’t have time to do everything. That’s a great way to never get things done, and at that, I’m a pro! 🙂

If I had just look at my goal and all of the steps between us, it’s really easy to give up then and there. I could just stand there petrified at the idea of even starting, overwhelmed by not only the volume of steps, but also the variety (first I have to do this, and only then can I do that, then this other thing comes after). So, I have to just look at the step in front of me. In the present example, that meant finding a pre-made theme I liked and just going with it. If I was worrying over the 15th step ahead, I’d just stand there daydreaming about that step and not looking at my feet.

This tip also relates to leaping too far ahead. I recently took up woodworking as a hobby interest, and if my first project had been some intricately detailed, hard-to-craft beast, I wouldn’t have succeeded. That’s fact. I haven’t developed the skills and obtained the knowledge needed for such an endeavor, and by trying to leap so far ahead, I’d just be setting myself up for failure.

So, that’s what I made. It’s a punch-needle gripper frame for Sydney (pictured here before the strips of grip were stapled on), so I was lucky in that it didn’t have to be beautiful.

And it wasn’t, haha!

But the glue held, it was square and even, and I didn’t die making it. Most importantly, it serves the purpose it was built for and I learned through it. That’s a success! It’s also steps 1-3 of my moving towards building something much more intricate. As it is now, my workbench is a mess with tools and sawdust from other things, the garage is filled to the brim with scrap wood I’ve picked up for free from Craigslist (current project: sorting and storage!), and I’m already planning my next creation of some simple hanging shelves for our home, which may end up taking me no further than step 4… and I’m cool with that.

Just Keep Swimming

So, that’s my spiel. I’ve redesigned our site to be simple and not need me fiddling with it every year or so when coding rules change. I’ve set myself up to be able to write a short story and share it online without any extra complications. And the advice I’ve shared here is just as apt when it comes to the actual writing process, too. And the woodworking process.

And just about everything else in life!

I’ve given myself a soft deadline for when my next short story is coming, so I’ll be sure to share that when it’s live, but until then, here’s some encouragement from Papa Mark:

Whatever your mountain of steps is, whether it’s a direct route or a bunch of smaller stairways needed to get to the top, just keep at it. One step at a time.

Or maybe two if you’re feeling a bit saucy. 🙂

2020 – The Year of Abby

For such an eventful year, it was a ball of fur that made it

‘Tis the season for annual reviews, wherein folks who have access to a text box to write in will comment on the calendar year prior. You’ll likely come across jokes about how intense/terrible/long this particular year has been. Some may try to shine a positive light on the future or point out the everyday joys that still occur. Most will include their own personal angle and share their individual struggles, growth, and more mundane goings-on. I’ve done plenty of that in years past, and while the only thing that will really change after this Thursday strikes midnight is that Friday will start, I won’t deny that it can still be fun (or cathartic) to recount the emotional struggles of the past 365 days and to wax poetic on the year ahead.

But today I’m just gonna talk about my cat.

Oh, and if you don’t care about the story (how dare you!), just skip to the end for hilarious/adorable cat pictures.

B.C. (Before Cat)

I’ve always been a dog person. Most cats I’d come across in social situations were aloof at best, mean/insane at worst, and there were literally only a few that I’d gotten along with. I didn’t hate cats, but lovable dogs just generally seemed more my speed.

I married a woman who loves dogs, too, but she also loved her childhood cat, so she straddled the dog/cat border much more evenly than I did. Given our current living situation (apartment, no yard, both working full-time office hours), getting a dog just wasn’t in the cards for us. It was only several months into our marriage, but we were ready to bring another little being into our home to love. Just to be clear, I’m speaking about the four-footed variety, not bipedal and wearing diapers — not yet.

My wife is great, and because I love her and her greatness, I really pushed myself towards the idea of getting a cat. I did the very Mark thing of spending my nights online-reading the heck out of breeds, personalities, and hair types. I browsed all of the adoption sites, trying to find just the right concoction of what I thought might work best. I was really determined to find us a new friend, even if it was a cat that would end up being more my wife’s pet than mine.

We didn’t make it to an earlier adoption event that I had eyeballed when I first started my online searching, so when I saw another one advertised online weeks later, I marked our calendar and made sure we got there.

Feb 29, 2020

Sydney had made plans for us to meet with her mom for lunch that day, and she joined us at the adoption event beforehand. It was inside of a pet store and was already pretty bustling when we arrived. This adoption day was focused on cats, but there were some adorable little dogs outside that were pretty hard to ignore as we walked in.

That wasn’t going to make it any easier on me to find a cat, I thought!

Sydney’s mom was smitten by a very rambunctious kitten there, which was admittedly very adorable in its smallness (but far too bitey and crazy for us to leave at home for hours on end). Pet adoptions make me feel guilty, as if I’m window shopping and trying to make a judgment based first on how cute an animal is and then instinctively wanting to move along if they’re not cute enough in the right way. It’s really tough for me. I saw this one cat in the top row of cages that was curled up and tucked away at the back away from everyone. It looked kind of sad, all alone up there, as if it just wanted to avoid all of this and be loved already.

So, yeah… that’s me at a pet adoption event.

Sydney and I saw a cat that was pretty cute and took an interest in us as we spent some time near its cage. I took a deep breath and asked if we could meet it. We went over to the area where people can sit and get to know the animal a bit better, and this cat was pretty cute and soft, but also pretty bitey as he ran around and played rough with us. And these weren’t just light bites, either, as I painfully discovered. The adoption gal described that cat as pretty full of energy, as we could see, and even if I was going to give in on this one for Sydney’s sake (she thought the cat was fun), that cat just wasn’t going to do well with how much alone time we’d be giving him.

It was with a heavy sigh that we had to move on and pass on adopting that cat, but before we got up and left, I saw a new couple sit in front of us. They were meeting with the sad, top-row cat I’d seen earlier. At least the 3 of them were getting a happy story, I hoped, and that made things a little easier for me. We looked around at some of the other cats there, but hunger was calling, so we decided to leave.

Lunch was tasty, fun, and distracting, but something was gnawing at me. I couldn’t drop the feeling that we should go back and see that sad, top-row cat. I had actually really wanted to meet it, but that other couple had gotten to it first and we had to get to lunch before “hangry” became a thing. So, as we drove home after our meal, I told Sydney, “Let’s go back to the event. We’ll just dash in; if that sad cat is gone, we’ll leave, if it’s there, we’ll at least see.”

By that time, the crowds at the store had subsided. Many of the adoption cages were empty or had “Adopted!” cards on their doors. I may have played it cool in the paragraphs above, but ya know what? I was absolutely drawn to that sad, top-row cat! I really wanted to meet it, I wanted to see if maybe that shy cat might be for us, so as we walked back into the store my heart was beating.

And there, curled up still in the top row, was that sad, reserved cat — still alone and still unclaimed!

Meeting Abby

This cat was an adorable light orange with white patches. The adoption worker took her out of her cage by simply bundling her bed around her and carrying her over to us. The cat’s name was Abby. She looked tired, but a little scared, too. She was mellow, though, even in her uncertainty. Sydney sat with her first, and Abby was just curled up on the bed in her lap. Abby had a fun, faint ring pattern on her tail. We were the only ones looking at a cat by that point, and we just sat there with her for a long time. I would tell you that I fell in love then, but that would be a lie.

I’d actually fallen in love when I first saw that cat hiding away in her top-row cage. 🙂

The slightest amount of tears formed in mine and Sydney’s eyes as I held this sweet little animal and we knew she was the one. After filling out the necessary info, payment, and buying a few necessities, we were on our way home with our new cat.

A New Home

Learning to enjoy some good scratchies on day 2

Back at our apartment, we closed our hallway doors and let Abby out of her carrying cage for the first time. She was pretty shy, and eventually dashed out and hid behind the toilet. The adoption gal told us that’s where she’d first hidden when being fostered, so we made it an available option for her that first day.

We didn’t crowd Abby, and just tried to gently coax her out with food and a toy. She stayed hidden for a while, but I sat with her — far enough to not make her nervous, but close enough that she knew I was there for her. Eventually she peeked out a bit, and slowly but surely over the rest of the day, she got more used to us and realized we were her new peeps.

I’ll save you from having to read about every little milestone, and not just because I’ve forgotten them, but one of my fondest memories of those first few days was waking up early in the morning and not being able to find Abby anywhere. We don’t exactly have a large apartment, but I looked everywhere I could think of: under the couch, behind doors, in any little spot I could imagine her fitting.

Abby had apparently vanished into thin air.

I called out to Sydney, letting her know that our new cat seemingly knew how to open doors and decided we were lame and left us. We both tore the place apart, until one of our kitchen cabinets made a faint noise. Abby had managed to open one of the cabinet doors and sneak way back into the dark corner. We ended up putting heavy objects in front of the cabinets for a while, and now have childproof push-locks, but even today we’ll still occasionally hear her test the cabinet door to see if it might open this time.

Pandemic! …and not the board game

Abby keeping me company while Sydney worked, hours before CA lockdown

If you’re tracking along, you may realize that we brought our cat home less than 3 weeks before California enacted its initial COVID-19 stay at home order on March 19. Sydney had started working from home before the state order was officially in place, and I was then on a temporary hiatus while my company figured out how we were going to do things going forward, so Abby went from both of us being gone for 8+ hours during the day to us suddenly being around. All day. Every day.

She didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, though. 🙂

The best cat in the world

Supervising creation of the most recent Out of the Box comic

Within days of bringing her home, Abby revealed just how sweet and cuddly she is. Her play needs are minimal, she only love-bites (and never hard), and I’ve only managed to make her hiss a few times because I accidentally startled her. What she does do, though, is snuggle. I have never known a cat so gentle and sweet, and I can’t begin to express just how lucky we are. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better personality for a pet if I’d tried. No pet can objectively be claimed “the best,” but Abby sure is the best for us!

At first, Abby was pretty obsessed with Sydney, but she and I still had our own special bond. I was the one to discover a few of Abby’s favorite things, like how blissed out she gets by my scratching the bridge of her nose or rubbing just inside her ears. I’m the night owl of the home, a trait that was only exasperated when I didn’t have work to get up for anymore, so Abby has spent plenty of time being my late-night gaming or writing partner — curled up on the ground next to me or right on my lap as I go about my computing. I won’t gush about her too much, though, because I’m sure you don’t care about how much she loves chomping on cardboard or watching birds. And if you do, just ask me and I’ll gush away. 🙂

Today, coming up towards a year from we brought her home, there is no question just how much this darn cat loves us. If I’m taking a lazy morning in and Sydney gets up first, Abby will run over to see me and snuggle up on my bedding with me. Whenever Sydney even moves towards the couch, Abby perks up at the idea of upcoming couch-snuggles. We’ve only had one other person over since we adopted her, and even then it was only a brief visit by Sydney’s brother before lockdown to make use of our bathroom, but Abby was pretty sweet with him, too, so I look forward to having others come over one day and experiencing this adorable little ball of fur that is my best buddy.

And that’s what she is — my best buddy. I love this cat, in ways that I haven’t quite loved an animal before. Part of that is that I’ve never felt this much love from an animal before. My childhood dog was great, we were the classic “a boy and his dog,” but even she didn’t quite adore me as much as this snuggle-muffin that is my lil’ Abby does. This cat has brought something new out of me, as well — a fatherly instinct. I’m married now, we’re settled into a good life, and having this sweet little creature adore me so much has really rustled up feelings in me that I haven’t felt in this way before. Whether I’m tucking her into bed at night with a smooch on the head or holding myself in a somewhat uncomfortable position simply because she’s contentedly resting her head on my arm, I’ve tapped into a new level of fatherly-type affection.

Hmm, so maybe we’re gonna have to start looking into getting one of those bipedal beings in diapers sooner rather than later after all… 😉

A great year

Obviously, 2020 has been a pretty monumental year, and you don’t need me to tell you why. Years from now, though, when I look back at this time I’m going to remember quarantine, sure, but I’m going to remember spending it with my wife and our wonderful cat.

In fact, Abby is sitting on my lap right now as I type these words. Abby, anything to add?

*hands cat the keyboard*

*cat sniffs the Alt key and purrs in content disinterest*

Well… sounds about right. 🙂

Bonus pictures

P.S. – It’s been a long absence, but we’ll see if we can’t fix this site up proper again and get back to it regularly again!

35 Days Later

When life gives you quarantine, sometimes it also gives you Animal Crossing…

Thirty-five days. Has it been that long? That actually doesn’t seem like a long enough amount of time compared to how it feels — but then it also feels like yesterday. I’m sure you know the feeling, as we’re all in a similar boat right now. So, what is it that happened just an tad over a month ago?

Animal Crossing: New Horizons came out for the Nintendo Switch!

No. Well, yes, but actually what I’m more so referring to is the California stay-at-home order that went into place March 19, 2020 in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. It was a Thursday night, I’d come home very early from work (bad allergy fever), Sydney and I had just gotten back from a perfectly-timed grocery store trip, and then we saw the news. My office was shut down effectively immediately, though Sydney’s company had already had the ability to get everyone working from home the Monday prior. So, we were bunkered in place, me without a job until I heard otherwise, and had nowhere to go.

And then came Animal Crossing.

I’m going to save the full review of this adorable little game for my beautiful wife to share, because she’s the true fan. She has loved this video game series since its inception, and we have collectively been counting the days until this new game’s release. Quite coincidentally, that date fell on the same day that California was officially on lockdown. Our digital copy was pre-loaded, ready to go, and come 9pm that night, Sydney was finally able to start up and play this game that she’d been anticipating for so long — and I was the luckiest guy in the world to be able to join her on that ride of glee, giggles, and joy.

Thirty-five days. I can count the number of times I’ve left our apartment complex in that time: once to pick up an extra computer monitor from a church friend for Sydney’s at-home workstation, once for a needed grocery restock, and once to go pick up my work computer and supplies when I was finally able to get back to working. Just three times, though that doesn’t count the mid-day walks I took several times or the rare moments in the sun I enjoyed while getting the mail or taking out trash. Sydney can do even better than that, in that she hasn’t even stepped foot outside of our home once during this whole time.

But we are very fortunate and very okay. We’re so fortunate that Sydney was able to keep working without any hiccup, that I’m now back to full-time hours for the time being, that we have a safe home to stay in, and that so far we’ve both remained healthy. We’re blessed that friends are available to chat at the swipe of a phone screen, that we can join in video chats with our Bible study group every week, and that we’ve been able to enjoy so much great entertainment.

And that brings it all back to Animal Crossing!

I knew that I was going to lose my wife to this game, and that’s true in that as of today she has logged over 140 hours of playtime since it came out. She still reads her Bible, exercises, showers, and lives her life as much as she can in our current situation, but by golly does she love that game! Of course, what I wasn’t expecting is that I was going to follow suit so closely, having racked up over 115 hours in the game, myself. Granted, I had all of the time in the world for the first few weeks and used it a bit to keep me sane during Sydney’s workday, but pretty quickly I went from just playing to participate in the thing my wife loves to actually making it my own. This game is just about the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen, filled with charm and accidental hilarity, and it really does offer a lot of bang for the buck. It’s a slow burn, made for those who want to relax with a game and take their time (it follows the real-time clock, so every game day is a literal 24 hours), but it’s really fun for those of us who can dig it.

Most importantly, Animal Crossing: New Horizons is sweet, and in a world that is angry, scared, and hurting, it’s been a really wonderful reprieve and some very fun escapism. I follow up on what news I need to, chat with my friends about various highs and lows, take care of myself and my wife, and spend time praising God in the midst of troubling times, but I’ve also really enjoyed being able to mindlessly catch bugs, take funny photos, and embrace the ever-cute nature of this game. It has given Sydney and I something to comment on and chat about throughout the day that isn’t a virus or the political rage that are both infecting folks out there at a tragically high rate. I can share something God pointed out to me in my morning reading, and then chat about what our crazy game-neighbor did that day, and we can enjoy it.

And by golly, that’s what we can all do right now — enjoy things! I am not unaware that a lot of people out there aren’t as lucky as Sydney and I are. There are those who are sick, who’ve lost loved ones, who are out there putting their lives on the line to serve both of those groups (and us!). Plenty out there are afraid when they look at their bank accounts, and plenty of other folks are just angry about the whole thing and lashing out. But as actor John Krasinski has been wonderfully sharing, there are also still plenty of good things out there in life right now. And for me and my wife, one of those things has been Animal Crossing: New Horizons. There is a big new update hitting today, and ya know what, I can’t wait to get off work and explore it with Sydney! Oh, who am I kidding… we’ll be playing during our lunch break.

I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be staying at home, and I’m not sure what life will look like as we all start peeking our heads out more regularly again down the line, but for as tragic as the losses and pains are in the world, I will always look back on the last thirty-five days with a bit of fondness in my heart — memories of cuddling up on the couch with my wife and our cat, and the many hours of playing this adorable game together and being able to laugh and cherish each other in the midst of all else going on.

Oh, and also we got a cat… but more on that next time. 🙂

Out Of The Box Returns!

The return of my beloved webcomic after a 2.5+ year hiatus.

For those of you followed my previous Internet endeavors, you’ll recognize those two faces up there. I am really happy to say that they’re back — it’s been a long time coming.

Out of the Box is a webcomic I ran weekly from 2010-2017, when it fell out of production at the same time that I stopped blogging regularly. I admit that I was likely always the comic’s biggest fan, but I’ve definitely missed it — both as creator and as a fan. So, when we started up Mushakian.com, I thought it was beyond time to start up the weekly webcomic again. Of course, I was also in the midst of settling into a new job, planning a wedding, settling into another new job, and moving out, so it’s taken me a little while, but to start off the new year (and decade!), today I’m bringing Out of the Box back to life! Even if the main character isn’t going to be so happy about that…

The premise of Out of the Box remains the same — it’s a single-panel square in which our beloved stickman has been stuck for years. Along the way he’s made numerous efforts to escape, attempted suicide, duplicated himself, commented on the world a plenty, gained a canine companion, and nestled his way into my little heart. For those who are new to the comic, the entire 300+ history has been uploaded, so you’ll have the chance to catch up… if you want to. He references my old blog quite a bit, so not every reference makes sense, but even when the joke isn’t obvious, it’s at least an insight into the character’s state of mind.

Having said that, there is a fair warning, this comic can be a little PG at times — and somewhat embarrassing for our little dude. There are plenty of panels that I wouldn’t create now, but I opted not to censor them out as they are still a part of his personal journey and growth arc. Think of it as a meta-commentary on the fact that young folks these days are documenting their teenage years on social media for all to see. Try not to judge him too harshly. Or me 😉

So, where is this great new comic? Well, I didn’t want to overwhelm this blog with a weekly comic again, so I sought out an external source that I think fits it just perfectly – Instagram. You’ll always be over to see the most recent comic in the sidebar of this page, but give that image a click and head over to the official home for for the newly reborn Out of the Box – and if you’d like to see it on your feed every week, well by golly, give us a follow and make my day!

Oh, and Happy New Year 🙂

Thankful For Sydney

A couple of months after our wedding, and I’m as thankful for her as ever!

The rain is gently tapping into the bushes and dropping a bit harder into the parking lot outside of my apartment window. My wife is in the kitchen cooking up some “eggy bacon cups” (eggs + bacon + muffin tin + oven = oh boy!). And I am sitting here writing to you on this beautiful Thanksgiving day, basking in the joy of how grateful I am for so much in my life!

Let’s rewind, though… it’s been a while.

The Before-the-Wedding Time

The couple of weeks leading up to our big day were some of the most tiring I’ve had. I was working full-time, surviving on cereal for dinner most nights, and almost the entirety of my evenings was spent building furniture and tidying up the home as best I could in-between. I enjoyed it all, and I was working hard to finish the things that needed to get done, but I was in survival mode. Sydney came by for a few evenings together after work, and one day, by the time I got home, this apartment had suddenly changed. It wasn’t just the survival zone I’d been existing in anymore, but it started to look and feel like an enjoyably livable space. She made it start to feel like home. Which is fitting, because that’s how she feels to me — like home.

Not that I didn’t do my part in cleaning up the place, too, of course. I had to, after all, because the weekend before our wedding, I was having a couple of friends over for my wild, swinging bachelor party. I am the type of person who doesn’t celebrate my birthdays, so I almost didn’t even have a bachelor party, but at the urging of these two friends, I decided to go through with it. And I’m glad I did! It was a very Mark day: breakfast out with Scott, Super Smash Bros. on a borrowed Switch (that’s a lot of S’s!), a visit to the pool once Nick came over, and our discovery of a very cool local pizza place. It was the best guy time I could imagine for a bachelor party — easy-going activities and lots of conversation with two men I really love.

The night before Sydney and I got married, we had a date night. After all of the packing and planning, and before the craziness of the big day, I wanted to be sure we took some quiet time for ourselves. We enjoyed a simple dinner at home and watched a movie while snuggled up on the couch together. There was no question as to what movie we would watch, either. Very early in our relationship I knew she was the one for me when she recommended that I watch About Time. And so we sat there together watching one of the most beautiful movies, our movie if ever there could be one, and at the end I joyfully bawled just as much as I did the first time I watched it. This time, though, I had Sydney next to me to hold and that made it all the more special 🙂

The Wedding

So, this day likely deserves its own post, but for now we’ll settle for a much more succinct version. I admit that part of why I haven’t written here in a while isn’t because I’ve been busy being newly married (well, not just because of that), but because it would feel odd just casually writing about something else, anything else, before writing about the most monumental day of my life thus far.

September 28, 2019. You may have been there. If so, I’m glad that you were, because you were able to see me at my happiest. I really loved our wedding. It was such a joy to be there greeting friends and family as they trickled in before the ceremony. Our setting and decorations were all that we’d wanted them to be, filled with quirk and sentimentality. I laughed and refrained from tears during Sydney’s wonderful vows she’d written. In fact, I was so touched and impressed by how well she expressed herself (a trait she doesn’t exemplify by her own admission) that I couldn’t help but lead everyone else in a round of applause after she had finished. My one job during the ceremony was to not cry, because if I went so would she, and I was victorious in my duty… but Sydney sure didn’t play fair when she quoted About Time in her vows.

I had been told that the day would be a blur and that I should focus on taking mental snapshots of special moments to help cement it all. It was good advice, because while I actually felt really grounded for most of the day, there are certain moments that I will always remember from my point of view. We have the photos, and those will help with memories as I age, but nobody will know exactly how my bride looked from my vantage point as we spoke our vows, how I made her giggle as we prepared to make our reception entrance to the Avengers movie theme, or how she smiled at me while we danced our first dance. And then oh did we dance. The evening may have gotten a little chilly and not everyone that we invited was able to make it, but I don’t think I’d change a thing about my wedding day. It was a fantastic time of celebration and joining together of our two lives, and with that Sydney was officially my partner for life.

The After-the-Wedding Time

Sydney and I took a week off from work, and boy was it a relaxing time. We stayed home and just enjoyed being together as man and wife. The day after our wedding we went to Denny’s for a late breakfast and treated ourselves to finally buying a Nintendo Switch. We spent our week playing Super Smash Bros., Yoshi’s Crafted World, and a game about a mischievous goose. We opened our wedding presents (including the best gift I’ve ever received, you know who you are!). We fixed up our apartment together and ordered in food. We watched movies, slept in, and enjoyed a very welcome break from regular life.

And then we went back to regular life, but this time it was different. We had a new regular, and it was an interesting adjustment. It was fun, no doubt, but there were plenty of challenges and growth opportunities in the last two months. That’s the funniest part. It has only been two months! It is actually a struggle to imagine this not being my life, even though I was living in a different city with my family just a few months ago. Sydney is my home, though, and that is why this has all felt so complete so quickly.

Not that this wasn’t a process. It took us some time to get the home in order, and decorating has gone in waves. Moving boxes were thrown away, walls were decorated, patio set up. Likewise, it has been an interesting time of getting used to living together: discovering each other’s quirks, finding our routine, making time for each other and ourselves. Some may hear the words “process” and “challenges” and imagine that these are code words for terrible times, but now that I have this personal peek into what married life is like, I understand. Marriage is a challenge, but in the way that learning a new task is or exercising is. With growth can come some pain and adjustments, but it’s all ultimately a good thing.

And life with Sydney has been a very, very good thing!

She pushes me to do what I do, but better. She challenges my simplified notions of what it is to love, and allows me opportunities to show her true love as God intends it. She is really, really fun to live with. And on top of all of that, she’s one cute, good-lookin’ woman!

I am thankful: for my fantastic wife, for my life ahead with this wonderful partner by my side, and that I’ve finally written this post and can now write about more trivial matters likes movies and stuff. 🙂

Bye-Bye, Orange County

Preparing for marriage by leaving home and getting my first place. No big deal…

From Buena Park to Laguna Hills to San Clemente, I’ve spent my entire life thus far with an Orange County address… until today.

I also finally moved out of my parents’ house for the first time, but that’s nothing major. 😉

Sydney and I are getting married in a couple of weeks (oh my goodness!), and with our new jobs we’ve been blessed with, we were able to find a pretty nice apartment. We both work in Carlsbad, our church is in Oceanside, and I’ve gotten pretty tired of commuting 40+ minutes to and from this area from my house in San Clemente over the last few years, so it was a given that our new home would be somewhere in north San Diego County. It makes sense for me and my life, too, as each home I’ve lived in has been progressively closer to the equator. So, I figured, why ruin a good trend?

We signed the lease blind, as the complex had no single-bedrooms available to tour when we first found this place — but I can say that we definitely scored. It’s Sunday, which means folks should be at home with children running around, but it’s been really quiet all day. Our apartment complex is at the end of a street which passes through a senior living neighborhood, so it’s quiet in that way, too. We have a nice breeze that passes in front of our apartment (though, the only way I’ve found to bring it inside is by leaving the front door open – and that’s totally safe, right?), and we’ve kept noticing little things that we like here and there. Heck, we even have a perfect, not-tall toilet, which I’m absolutely ecstatic about! No place will be without its cons, but for our first apartment together, we did pretty darn okay. We even got to meet one of new neighbors, Michell, from across the pathway. I can’t wait for my bride-to-be to join me here in a couple of weeks after the wedding (and I know she can’t wait, either), but until then, I’ll be nesting and getting the place in shape for her.

Of course, that means I also get to live the wild and crazy single life in my new bachelor pad until then. 😉

The oddest part about today is not actually the fact that I left Orange County, but that I left the OG Mushakians. I’ve lived with those people since I was born, and while by golly goodness it’s beyond time that I moved on, it’s still a bit strange to realize that that house isn’t my home anymore. I’ll always have a place there and be welcome, certainly, but it’s surreal that my room there is no longer my room, and it hasn’t quite set in yet that I’m not just playing house in my new apartment. I remember my good friend Nick sharing how it was similar for him and his wonderful now-wife, and none of this is a bad feeling. But it’s still very fresh and odd.

I’ve been packing up and sorting through all that I own for the last few weeks, so between that, working full-time, planning a wedding, and spending time at church, I was already a bit tired going into today. Last night found the whole family pitching in to do the final preparations, and this morning I woke up early and picked up our U-Haul. It was a squeaky, sketchy old truck, but it did its service and did it well. U-Haul’s automatic check-out process took a little longer than I’d hoped, so the sun was starting to burn through the morning clouds by the time we were midway through loading the truck, and it was toasty as all fart when we landed here in Oceanside. I had a number of friends offer to help, but given that I really didn’t have too much to move, and my dad was up for it, we kept it a family affair. In a way, I also kinda wanted to keep it that way — to make it a final Mushakian family adventure before I branched out and began my new life as Mushakian family 2.0. My sister stayed home with the dog, but my mom, dad, Sydney, and I all paraded down to Oceanside from San Clemente and unloaded the truck like a group of professional movers.

Of course, the way my body currently feels is a reminder that I am not a professional mover. Let’s just say that my convertible stand-up desk at work is probably going to spend most of tomorrow in the sit position. 😉

We celebrated a victorious move back up at my parents’ house with one of the best pizza’s I’ve ever eaten (hunger + move-in tired) and some soda, and it was time to leave. Sydney left a bit a head of me, to swing by Target for some forgotten items, and I grabbed the last few boxes and some things missed during the big move. My car was loaded, I said goodbye to all and hugged my mom, and left. I left my home… and drove to my new home. After 37 years, I was very ready to be moving on with my own life, but I won’t say that I didn’t have a bit of a lump in my throat. I was a little verklempt, but nothing more than a couple of tears popped out as I drove south on the 5. It can be hard to leave family, but those three (plus that dumb, adorable dog) aren’t my main family now…

A couple of hams, delirious from a day’s move.

Sydney arrived home shortly after I did, and we put our new bed together. Which was very fun, as can be seen in photo above. I love this woman so much darn much so darn. She is my family. I told her, if I had just been moving out on my own, it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting. Half of the fun here is that I’m moving out with her! Well, not with her, yet, but soon. Soon and very soon. 🙂

I have a lot to do on this place still, but for now I’m going to veg out for a bit in front of my giant TV, then shower and hit the sack. I regularly try to speak to how fortunate I am to be forgiven by the grace of God, and I mean that wholeheartedly every time. But also, I’m a pretty darn lucky fella in earthly terms, too.

This has been Mark Mushakian, coming to you live from his new home in Oceanside, CA. Signing off.

An Important Tire Blowout

Plans? Not when there are more important lessons to learn!

Today, I didn’t get to go to church to worship God and see friends. I didn’t get to enjoy a special lunch with my church family. I had to, instead, spend hundreds of dollars and didn’t get home until later than I would’ve liked. My big plans for the day were all tossed to the wind.

And I flippin’ loved it 🙂

If you’ve ever moved, you know that it can be a lot to plan and prepare for. If you’ve ever had a wedding, you know that it can be even more to plan and prepare for. And Sydney and I are doing both of those things this month! To say that our days are a little full and we’re being stretched pretty thin — well, that would be an understatement. I dare say that we’ve even been a little stressed at times.

This morning, as I drove us to church, our minds were pretty scattered: I move into our new apartment next weekend, and am still packing up and getting all set for that, and our wedding is in a few weeks so we’re still piecing together details for that day, as well. Almost every minute of our days has been filled with something “productive” lately, but in all of that, I think we started to lose sight of something else.

So, as we cruised along the 5 freeway, coming up to the border patrol checkpoint, my darn tire pressure warning sign came on with a ‘ding’. That might mean something to most of you in your cars, but for me it’s become a very annoying habit in this car of mine – the darn censor is either hypersensitive or broken, because it seems to go off quite easily. So, I semi-jokingly cursed the warning and kept on driving. Moments later, I noticed a large helicopter overhead. I couldn’t see it, but as we were driving through Camp Pendleton area, it wasn’t unusual. It was really loud, too. And it was following us. Sydney said, “I think it’s your car,” and suddenly the car began to shake. I immediately realized that I had a flat tire, and pulled off onto the right shoulder as the car shook pretty violently. When I got out to check my flat, I didn’t quite believe what I saw.

That image above, the one of a blown-out, shredded tire? Yeah… that’s mine.

I’ve never blown out a tire before. I’ve had a number of flats from rogue screws or nails, but never this. The sucker exploded out from under us as we sailed along at a not-slow 75 mph. My nostrils were filled with the smell of burning rubber, the tire itself extremely hot to the touch. We weren’t gonna make it to church and our Sunday school duties, that was for darn sure, so Sydney texted the gal in charge and waited safely behind me on the big shoulder… keeping an eye out for any vehicles that might smash into my car and make me dead. Long story short here, I popped on the donut spare, tossed my shredded tire in the trunk, and after a turn-around at the next exit, we headed back home. Even longer story shorter, I now have 4 new tires on my car, and all is back to normal.

Well, not quite. Our normal coming into this month had become a bit of a stressed one. I don’t want to paint our wedding planning experience as a negative one, nor am I unhappy about any of these events coming up, it’s just simply been a lot for us to do. And we’d succumbed to that a bit, I feel. So, God let my tire go boom and “ruin” most of our plans for the day. So, what did we do, instead? We spent time together! Sydney and I hung out on the side of a southern California freeway on a Sunday morning, and as I changed a disintegrated tire I was singing worship songs. We slowly made our way back north on that same freeway, commenting and laughing at the crazy drivers who would zoom up closely behind us, even though I had my hazard lights on. We signed up for a Costco membership (thanks to my dad, who wanted to treat us to paying for our first year) and perused the aisles laughing and talking about what we could add to our future home. We enjoyed a peaceful lunch together and met cute dogs. We saw adorable/hilarious animals in the nearby pet supply store. We stinkin’ enjoyed each other, with no other distractions, and it was really wonderful.

After all of the dust had settled and Sydney was back at home, she hugged me and said “We did it!” And we had. We went through what could have been a very trying and negative experience, but we went through it together. As a team; physically safe by the grace of God and emotionally steady by relying on His peace, and what might look like a lousy day on paper ended up being one of my favorites in a while 🙂

Chalk up another point to the reminder that if ya ask God to teach you to have more patience/trust/etc., you should be expecting an opportunity to grow in that way pretty soon.

And if that just so happens to mean that your tire explodes? Well, count yourself lucky. I sure do 🙂

Thirty Days

A busy summer leads up to preparation for The Big Day!

It’s been a while, but time flies when one is planning a wedding!

And that’s exactly what we’ve been doing over the last four months since I wrote here last. Well, that and apartment hunting and preparing for our new life together! Oh, and starting new jobs! AND watching Stranger Things!

Dang, it’s been a busy summer. Let’s catch up, shall we?

“So, what do you do?”

It started with me. The company I was working for as an independent contractor took a down turn, so was stuck looking for a new job. It was an interesting point in life, because I was looking ahead to a future with Sydney, but I suddenly had no idea how I was going to financially contribute to that. The income that previous job had provided was actually a big part of why I felt comfortable proposing in the first place, so it was definitely a blow to that monetary security. But, as anyone who has lived long enough can tell you, monetary security is never entirely secure.

So, that’s where we were. Sydney was really enjoying her new job working with children at YMCA, and I was unemployed and trying to find something that could ideally be an opening to a new career. It was emotionally trying — looking at how much of my working life I’d wasted on mindless jobs that I knew would go nowhere, and trying to start all-but-fresh in my mid-30’s. I set my focus on human resources positions, though at that point I was also open to just about anything that wouldn’t be a complete step backwards in salary.

Thankfully, that wasn’t the case! 🙂

In May, I started working as an HR Assistant for a management company, and it’s been an absolutely perfect environment to learn in. I was actually hired on as a part-time, long-term temp, and part of the offer was that while I helped the HR team catch up on projects, they would in-turn teach me all they could. Just the other week, though, I was made an offer to stay on with the company as a full-time employee, so this is my home for the time being – and they have really excelled in offering ways for me to further my career-learning!

And as for my bride-to-be, well… she made an even better leap. Sydney was enjoying her time working at YMCA, but she was also feeling ready for something more. Unlike myself, who had comfortably nested at Blockbuster Video for a majority of my 20’s, Sydney wasn’t content to settle for less than she was capable of. Plus, I was still working only part-time hours as we moved into summer, and looking at the reality of our collective income meant that at least one of us needed to be working/making more if we didn’t want to be newlyweds living in my parents’ house. God brought her to the perfect position, though, and for the last couple of months she has been working as a case manager for a law firm (so fancy!). The best part about this new job of hers? She works in the building right next to the one I work in. #carpoolCouple

A roof over our head

With Sydney now pulling a very generous income, we had our price range for apartment hunting. And the hunt began. We had a few “ideals” of what amenities and features we wanted in our home, so we started there and searched our little hearts out. Sydney came across one that checked off every box on our wish list, and for a great price, so I contacted them that night. I received a response that let me know they were booked on showings until a month later, and that the apartment I was looking at was no longer available.

I was bummed, for sure. Not that there weren’t other apartments out there, but I was sad because Sydney had her heart so set on this one. That next morning, as I read Psalms, I was reminded that God loves her even more than I do. I thanked Him and said a simple prayer, based on that morning’s text inspiration – “God, help me to trust You more.” It was a very sincere prayer.

And within an hour, God showed me exactly how much I need to trust Him.

As I drove to work that morning, my phone rang. Thinking it might be a response from one of the other apartments I’d contacted, I was sure to answer. But no, this was a call from the place I thought we’d lost. They had an opening for me to come by that week, and while the 1-bedroom we’d looked at was no longer available, they had one available in September… which would work out just perfectly for us, as move-in day is just a couple weeks before the wedding. I hung up, and couldn’t stop laughing. God made me with my sense of humor, and in my deliriously happy state I was pointing up and saying “God… you. You’re a funny guy!” I eventually went to check out the complex, everything looked kosher, and after the application process went through without a kink, Sydney and I have now signed the lease for our first apartment together.

30!

And so here we are. Thirty days from now, Sydney and I are getting married. Wait, let’s try that again. We are getting married in THIRTY DAYS!! For those who have known me since my pre-Sydney life, my goodness has this day be a very long time coming — a path that has been filled with plenty of ups and downs and loneliness and confusion. Since knowing Sydney, I have grown by leaps and bounds, and while I give all glory in that to God, Sydney was certainly instrumental in my journey.

I also just really like her a lot. 🙂

Weddings can take a lot of planning, but most of it has gone really smoothly. I’m lucky in that Sydney is so easy-going, too. She may change her mind from time to time, but she is so sweet-natured and go-with-the-flow, that it’s been a really fun experience. We found our venue early on, but as things have come up and we’ve had to shift gears on catering or compromise on other things, it has definitely been a good opportunity to work together as a team. And that’s what life with her feels like… like we’re a team!

It is absolutely surreal, walking around and suddenly remembering, “Oh yeah, I’m getting married next month!” I have had so much darn fun being able to tell anyone, at every opportunity I naturally can, that I am getting married next month! And it isn’t just the wedding, with the party and all of the fun festivities that come with it. It isn’t just the honeymoon and the excitement of physically bonding together as man and wife. Above all, it’s the beyond. I get to spend the rest of my life with this person, being challenged and challenging in return, laughing together until our sides hurt, encouraging each other to pursue God above all else.

Sydney is already my partner for life… in thirty days, we’re just going make that partnership official. 🙂

A Tale of Two Gardens

God is faithful to keep revealing new truths, as He did to me in this tale.

If you were asked to name a garden from the Bible, what would you say? Even those who have never even set foot in a church could likely come up with one — the Garden of Eden. This is where the Bible story famously begins, where the first two humans took that fateful bite of fruit, in disobedience to God, and brought sin into the world by their choice. The next most well-known Biblical garden is likely the Garden of Gethsemane, which is where Jesus was captured by those who would crucify Him soon thereafter.

Millennia separate the events which happened in these two gardens, and yet last night I was taught a truth in their connection.

My weekly Bible study group has just started going through the Gospel of Luke. Last night, after we read though the genealogy that traces Jesus’ lineage all the way back to Adam, one of our members made an aside joke about how dangerous gardens in the Bible seem to be — referencing the aforementioned events that occurred in Eden and Gethsemane. Our group leader responded briefly, as it had only been a lighthearted joke, reminding us that Eden was intended to actually be a perfect place until sin entered it.

But then another member of our group spoke up and shared something that was an entirely new idea to our leader, the rest of the group, and even to the person sharing it!

In Eden, a sinful choice altered the world forever, and in Gethsemane, an obedient and sacrificial choice did the same. I struggle to think of any other gardens which are prominently named in the Bible, and yet these two act as figurative bookends. While Adam and Eve brought condemnation into the world in that first garden, in the other, Jesus offered his life freely to bring salvation. God warns Eve’s tempter in Eden of his future loss, saying, “He shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise him on the heel,” and in Gethsemane Jesus took his first step to doing just that. In purely literary terms, it’s a beautiful story arc — one that begins with a strike against the weak by the proud in the picturesque setting of a beautiful garden, and one that ends in another garden, in the darkness of night, with the hero offering Himself as a sacrifice.

In terms of reality and our own existence, it’s life-changing.

This is certainly not the first time someone has drawn a conclusion between the two most famous Biblical gardens, but last night we were blessed to have God point this out to our quaint little study group — and it meant so much to me that I have fumbled for far too long tonight through such a short blog post, all in an attempt to convey that same encouragement to you 🙂