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Moving Onward (and a Bonus Top List)

A final farewell to my first job.

My first official job ended yesterday.

I handed in my two weeks’ notice last Friday to one of the store managers at Frazier Farms Market in Oceanside. He jokingly tried to hand it back to me, but it was one of those jokes where it’s actually half meaningful. I have been employed as a “courtesy clerk” for 13 months, and I have been counted on as one of the most reliable employees there. That’s what made it hard; I knew I was a good employee and was very valued there, but it was time for me to move on.

How did I come to this decision to quit? Well, it’s a little complicated.

A few months ago, I had made the decision to quit in May 2019 right before I graduated, with or without having another job lined up. I really didn’t want to go through another summer working there (last summer was brutal — it was extra busy with all the vacationers at the beach and really hot), and I definitely didn’t want to work there by the time I got married. But then, three weeks ago, I woke up with a terrible feeling, one that made me dread going in to work that morning. I was on the verge of tears for about an hour after I had started. I tried to play it off as just feeling “extra emotional”, but deep down, it was work itself that was making me feel that way.

Courtesy clerk is the entry level position at the store. Think “janitor” who also helps out customers. Initially, the mindlessness of going around the store sweeping and doing other housekeeping tasks appealed to me. School work was mentally draining, so it was refreshing to not have to think so much. But then, the monotonous of it all started to get to me. Sweep, grab shopping carts, sweep, clean the bathrooms, bag groceries, sweep more. The only time I was enjoying myself was when I got to talk to customers and coworkers. I didn’t exactly think that the things that I was doing were “below me”, but I did feel like I should be doing something better, something that is more enjoyable and more applicable to what I’m studying in school.

I had a conversation with my friend, Karlee, during church three weeks ago. Karlee works at the YMCA as a childwatch attendant. I had actually applied to this exact job about a month before I applied to Frazier Farms. I had an interview, but didn’t get hired. Then, I got hired at Frazier Farms…It’s all connected! Karlee told me that the Y were looking to hire a bunch of people for childwatch attendants and that I should apply. I felt a little hesitation because they had rejected me not once, but TWICE (I had an interview for a summer camp counselor a few years back), and I didn’t know if I could handle possibly being rejected a third time. But, I knew it was a sign from God. Why did I have that overwhelming feeling of desperately wanting to quit two days before? And why did the Y desperately need new employees now?

That night, I put in an online application. The next day, while waiting for my class to start, I got a voicemail from the YMCA of San Diego County office asking me to set up an interview. Wow, that was fast. I called back after class had ended, and we set up a group interview for the next Monday, March 4. I had an interview with one other person (my previous interview had two other people), and at the end, the supervisor said that we both had “really good interviews”. Right before my second class on Mondays, I checked my email and saw 4 unread YMCA emails, one that said, “Congratulations on your new position”. WOW, THAT WAS FAST! I laughed really hard — compared to what I went through last time applying for the position, this went through miraculously fast. I think it’s safe to say that this was meant to be. My next day of work at Frazier Farms was that Friday, March 8. That was when I handed in my two weeks’ notice.

Of course, to have it be a proper two weeks, my last day was supposed to be March 22, which is currently NEXT week. I had a quick chat with the schedule manager on Friday, and this is how it went:

Him: So, when’s your last day again?
Me: Next Friday. March 22nd.
Him: Oh…so do you want me to clear your schedule so you don’t have to come in and work next week?
Me: No, that’s okay. My last day will be next week.
Him: Okay. (smiles)
Me: (smiles back, walks away)

It seemed to me like he understood! But then I went into work yesterday and checked the schedule. My name was gone, and somebody else had my typical shifts. I laughed to myself. “Well, I guess TODAY is my last day!!!” I had told everyone that next week was my last day…oops.

Now that my official work at Frazier Farms is done, I thought it was poignant to write about this little experience and to cap it all off with a bonus Top List (these lists have been far and few, sorry about that!)

And thus, here is March’s Top List: Top 4 Most Memorable Injuries I Incurred While at Work
(disclaimer: these injuries were all my fault, and none of them caused any serious harm. I’m very prone to injuring myself, so these are just funny stories)

4. Getting stung by a bee for the first time.

This happened pretty early on, about a few months after starting work. Because I had never been stung by a bee before, it had always been a secret fear of mine that I was actually allergic to bee stings, and the only way I would be able to find out is to get stung, have a super painful allergic reaction, and possibly die. And what’s really funny about this is that I had recently had a dream that I got stung by a swarm of bees! I had maybe thousands of bee stings, but I didn’t have an allergic reaction. And I DIDN’T DIE! I felt like that could be been God telling me that I’m not allergic to bees, and to stop having that fear, stupid, you ain’t gonna die!!! It was springtime, so the bees were out and about. I was on cart duty, and I casually placed my hands on the handle of a cart to push it back to the store. I immediately pulled my hand back, feeling something sharp on that little skin groove between my thumb and my palm. Then, I saw a bee fly away.

Oh crap. I just got stung by a bee.

I put that one cart back, went inside, and consulted my supervisor. “Hey, umm, I think I just got stung by a bee…” “Have you ever been stung before?”, she asked. “Nope.” She went into immediate Mom Mode, took me to the back sink, washed it out, and took out the stinger with some sugar. Then she put on antibiotic ointment and wrapped up my hand with a bandage. IT HURT. My whole hand felt numb for the next hour, and it made working normally a little challenging. But I made it through, and now I know how it feels to get stung by a bee.

3. Cutting my palm with a piece of glass.

A few months ago, I used to exclusively get closing shifts that were from 3:30-9:30pm. Closers have a good amount of extra tasks that they need to do, like taking out all of the trash. My fellow closer that night was carrying a very heavy bag of glass bottles to the trash chute and needed help throwing it in. She had actually put the bag in a shopping cart to transport it, and it had gotten caught on the sides. I didn’t realize that a piece of broken glass was sticking out the side of the bag, and I placed my hand right on top of it to grab the bag.

Oh crap. I just cut my hand.

It wasn’t a very deep cut, and it didn’t gush an excessive amount of blood, so I wasn’t too worried about it. I just needed to wash it off and put a bandage on. My coworker, though, felt REALLY bad about it, and kept apologizing and making sure I was okay.

I was okay, just a klutz 😉

2. Smashing my pinkie finger with a watermelon.

I know, that sentence just sounds crazy. But let me assure you — it happened! I’m not making it up!

This happened last July, during the crazy summer when everyone was buying giant freaking watermelons. I was bagging a customer’s groceries, and I was picking up their watermelon from off of the register counter. It got stuck in between the side, and my finger got caught in between the watermelon and the side of the register. It got bruised right between the knuckle and the first pinkie joint. It hurt just as much as when my index finger got stuck in my mom’s car door (it was even there for at least a minute because the doors lock as soon as they’re all closed). This injury took a while to heal. My finger couldn’t bend a certain way, and I had to briefly keep it in a splint. Now, there’s some weird bump on the inside of the finger (Mark thinks the blood vessel got moved around).

Be careful around watermelons. They’re dangerous.

And now, for the finale…

“Dislocating” my shoulder while cleaning a toilet.

What. the. heck.

This one gained me quite the reputation in my young adults group at church. Although this happened quite a while ago, it still gets mentioned because of its outrageousness.

I use the term “dislocate” loosely because I can’t conclusively and correctly say that my shoulder was dislocated because I never saw a doctor. But, after what it went through, it makes sense to say that my shoulder was briefly dislocated.

It happened on a night when I had a closing shift. I was scheduled with the task of a “thorough”, which is the hour-long bathroom cleaning of the men and women customer bathrooms and the 2 employee bathrooms. During the thorough, we restock any supplies, scrub the toilets, wipe down the stalls, wipe down the mirrors, and take out the trash. I started with the women’s bathroom, and as I was scrubbing the second of 4 toilets, I moved my shoulder weirdly as I bent back up.

OH CRAP!!!! What just happened to my shoulder?? It hurts!!!!

I still had two more toilets in that bathroom to clean, mopping, and then everything else that I needed to do for the remaining 3 bathrooms. I couldn’t even move my left arm. I finished up with the womens’, and ran out to find one of my fellow courtesy clerks. The closing supporter was there, and when I asked her if she could tie my jacket around my shoulder like a sling, she looked at me confusingly. She did it anyway, but it didn’t help. It took me a while trying to do things because I could barely move without being overcome with pain. I had to clock out in ten minutes, and I still had one more bathroom to clean. I ended up not cleaning the last bathroom.

I drove home. Let me tell you, it was a very tough experience. Making right turns was intense. I sat on my bed, crying from pain. I had work the next day, and in this condition, I definitely couldn’t work. And I didn’t want to call out sick. So, while almost yelping out like a dog, I moved around my arm and my shoulder. I thought stretching it would make it felt better because I thought I had just pulled the muscle. Eventually, after a couple minutes, I moved my shoulder at the perfect spot and felt it slide back into place. The pain immediately stopped. Hallelujah!

When I told people the story, they were astounded at the fact that I put MY OWN shoulder back into place — I guess most people get a chiropractor or a doctor to do that…

Thanks for having me, Frazier Farms. It’s been a great year for having some interesting experiences, building new skills, and learning from mistakes.
Now, onward, to the YMCA!

A Mardney Chat: Captain Marvel

Mark & Sydney offer a dual review of Marvel’s latest — and it’s as glowing as Captain Marvel herself!

Marvel Studio’s latest superhero movie was released in theaters last weekend, and the two of us were lucky enough to be a part of the $455 billion global box-office ticket haul Captain Marvel pulled in during it’s opening weekend — a very small part, but a part nonetheless. This marks the 7th Marvel movie we’ve been able to see together in theaters (holy mackerel, that’s more than originally expected before counting), and we’re fully on board with seeing whatever Marvel puts out at this point. Seeing as this blog is run by both of us, and we do enjoy chatting together about movies we love, we thought it’d be fun to create our own super team-up in a post sharing our collective thoughts on the newest superhero flick.

Oh, and if you’re curious what a Mardney is, well.. MARk + syDNEY.

The conversation below will NOT be spoiler-free, so if you haven’t yet watched Captain Marvel, why don’t you go ahead and do that first. If you’ve already seen the movie, though, or are searching for some convincing opinions as to whether or not you should, read on!

And since Captain Marvel marks the first time a Marvel movie has focused on a female superhero, we’ll let mushakian.com’s own female superhero start us off…

Sydney: I have always had a huge love for Brie Larson, ever since I saw her amazing performance in Short Term 12. So, I was already super stoked to see her kick butt as Captain Marvel (and kick even MORE SERIOUS butt in Avengers: Endgame). She’s just so cool, man. I know that most women think Wonder Woman is the best female superhero, but honestly, Diana ain’t got nothin’ on Carol.

Anyway, enough gushing. My favorite thing about the movie was the dynamic between Carol and Fury. If there was a spin-off “buddy cop” type movie with the two of them, I would be first in line to see it.

Mark: I’d be second in line 🙂 I haven’t seen Short Term 12, yet, so I guess that’s another title to add to our ever-growing list of movies to see. The first time I was aware of Brie Larson in a movie (Scott Pilgrim vs the World and 13 Going on 30 don’t count) was in 21 Jump Street, and she was absolutely adorable and so darn endearing. Then came Room and — dang, that was rough. But she performed wonderfully in that heavy role, so when she was announced as the newest Marvel-movie superhero, I was fully on board.

By the way, that announcement came just before Sydney and I even met! We’ve all been collectively waiting on Brie and this movie since 2016, and I’m glad to say that it knocked my expectations outta the park 🙂

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A post shared by Brie Larson (@brielarson)

It seems inevitable that Wonder Woman comes up in conversations about Captain Marvel, given that these are the two female-led superhero movies we have right now. A lot of folks enjoy the aforementioned DC title (I did not), but I think there are actually two different comparisons to be made between them: the movies on a whole or the characters themselves. If I look at these two titular characters, I think they’re both really great in their own way; each carries a quiet strength into each scene, Wonder Woman with an extra dash of sweetness and hope, Ms. Marvel with an equal amount of compassion and leadership. Each of these characters really feel the struggles they’re in, Wonder Woman dealing with the horrors of war and human failings, Ms. Marvel with identity crisis and standing up to imposed limitations. As characters, I think they’re both fantastic — and women that any kid could be proud to look up to 🙂

On the movie side of things, while I’m slightly biased in that the Marvel Cinematic Universe has me fully enraptured, I do think that Captain is simply the better movie. We’ll chat more about the specifics below, but if I’m looking at the stories told, the filmmaking at play, and the simple enjoyment of watching, Wonder Woman can’t compare.

One aspect of these two movies that immediately stood out to me is the differences in how they present their female lead. Wonder Woman was on TV a couple of nights before we saw Captain Marvel, and it made for a nice, immediate side-by-side. Gal Gadot is a stunningly attractive person, and in Wonder Woman, this physical quality of the performer is not at all lost as Diana fights and moves through the movie in her scant apparel. Granted, the Wonder Woman costume has always been very leggy in comics and TV, and it’s far from obscene in this movie, but Gadot’s physical appeal is always very evident to the viewer. Captain Marvel‘s Carol Danvers, however, isn’t portrayed as obviously sexual in the movie — her costume isn’t revealing, there is no romantic storyline, and the actress’s natural good looks aren’t played up. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of those things, nor with a female being presented as very alluring (Marvel does that aplenty with its collective cast of great-looking men and women in their other movies), but it was simply refreshing to see that Captain Marvel wasn’t cast in such a light.

Boy, I didn’t mean to speak so much about another movie in the midst of our Captain Marvel review, but it seems to be a pretty prevalent conversation elsewhere, so I thought it pertinent enough to mention… and I feel it’s one of Captain‘s great strengths.

So, Sydney, what in particular makes the, as you say, “kick-butt” character of Captain Marvel so cool in your book?

Sydney: It’s her personality. I grew up on more of the tomboy side of the spectrum (having a brother two years younger than me made me turn away from typically girly things), and my parents were really into rock music (my mom thought of herself as a “grunge chick” — think back to the scene where Carol steals the clothes from the mannequin), so a lot of that really influenced my own personality.

I never expected a superhero to be so cool. She loves rock music, has a great and hilarious wit, but is also compassionate and knows the right thing to do. She’s the perfect superhero that girls today need (and I wish I knew about her when I was a kid — it would have been awesome to have her as my hero).

And Mark, I totally agree with you about Captain Marvel not being portrayed as sexy. It absolutely was refreshing, and it makes the case for her being the perfect female superhero even more convincing. The movie put more focus on her power and accomplishments than on her looks and feminine appeal. Also, HOORAY! No romantic storyline for a female main character!!!

One of my second favorite things about the movie is the soundtrack. I love 90s music (which is, of course, influenced by my parents as previously mentioned), and when “Waterfalls” by TLC started playing as Carol and Fury were driving to the secret Project Pegasus base I got super excited. The best moment, however, was when “Just A Girl” by No Doubt played as Carol beat the crap out of the bad dudes. It was a perfect Girl Power scene – and it hit me right in my heart.

Definitely not Just A Girl. ©Marvel Studios

Mark: Describing Carol as a witty lover of rock makes me think that she and Tony Stark could be pretty good friends. I think you and her were a lot more tomboy than I was growing up… but that’s not much of a surprise to anyone who knows me 🙂

I actually went into this movie with only medium expectations, but by the end I was in full-on giddy territory. For the sake of brevity, I’ll go through exactly why in a list of my favorite bits:

Injecting Stan Lee into the opening Marvel title sequence is a really sweet tribute — as is his later cameo and the simple smile he and Carol share.
Starting Carol off brainwashed by the Kree and with a fragmented memory make this yet another fresh take on the superhero origin story by Marvel, and as secrets are revealed to both her and the audience, it’s a roller-coaster of emotions.
Mainly, though, this movie is darn fun. Once Carol lands on Earth, my viewing partner was LOL’ing pretty frequently… and I did, too. As mentioned, Carol and Fury’s camaraderie was an absolute blast — the role reversal of Fury not being the one with the answers made him all the richer as a character, and it was great seeing him experience such an out-there world of bodysnatcher-like aliens and galactic wars. And Flerkens… he definitely had one heck of an eye-opening experience learning about those 😉
I either love the idea of how Fury actually lost his eye or it seems like a disappointing throwaway gag. Depending on when you ask me, the opinion changes by the minute — but it is increasingly staying in the love category.
Freakin’ digital de-aging is amazing! I had to actually remind myself throughout the movie that every frame of Samuel L. Jackson has been altered, and that he didn’t somehow find the fountain of youth. I was really impressed when Marvel previously did the same thing with Robert Downey, Jr. and Michael Douglas, but now we’re in near-seamless territory.
The quick cat-and-mouse chase in the Pegasus archives with the motion-activated lights is a really fun and clever bit that I very much appreciated.
The Skrulls browsing through a captured Carol’s memories by fast-forwarding, repeating, and zooming in, is such a subtly trippy way to show what could’ve been a simple and dull thing.
Speaking of Skrulls, I think one of the most poignant lines in the movie comes from the Skrull leader, Talos. As a horrified Carol reels from the realization that she’s been on the wrong side, Talos comforts her with the line that he also has plenty of blood on his hands in this war. It could have easily been a switcheroo (the technical term) of who we think are the good/bad guys, but I really enjoy the gray area in this.
There is no gray in how fantastically exciting it is to watch Carol use her powers, though! Her entire arc of growing beyond imposed limitations makes for a really exhilarating visual display once Carol is able to just let loose. In other Marvel movies, watching someone like Hawkeye or even Captain America in a fight offers times when they seem worn out or hurt. Once her powers are at max-levels, Carol never gives off that impression, though, and it isn’t for a lack of action — she punches her way through planet-destroying missiles, while flying through space mind you, and the effortlessness of it all really sells just how darn powerful she is.
What really sells Carol, though, is her character. She stands up for the innocent Skrull families, she is great with her friend’s daughter, she can admit her mistakes, and the budding trust and friendship that she and Fury share is wonderful.
Our realization that these powers of hers come from an infinity stone is such an exciting reveal, if only for the potential it has in this Marvel movie universe. There are plenty of callbacks to the other movies, as well, and none of them felt rushed or unnecessary. By the time Fury names his new initiative plan after Carol’s call-sign, “Avenger,” my face was plastered with a smile of complete satisfaction.
The most powerful moment of the movie, for me, is when Carol stands up. It was a moment teased in the film’s trailer, and I’d honestly imagined that it was just a cool trailer-specific edit — but the dramatic weight of Carol rising up, as she has since she was a little girl, carries such an emotional heft to her story, to the overall Marvel universe, and to the beauty of the human experience. I didn’t full-on cry, but boy were my eyes damp and my heart bursting!

I’ll cut myself off before I talk about every scene in the movie, and just say that I am an absolute fan — both of this movie and of Carol Danvers. I’ll let my beautiful bride-to-be have the final word on this story, because as much as I enjoyed it and the story touched me, ultimately it meant even more to Sydney. I can’t wait to see more of Carol in future movies, and for now I’ll wrap up by borrowing a line from the god of thunder: “Bring… me… THANOS!”

Sydney: Thank you, Marvel, for giving us such an inspiring character, and for giving me a superhero that I can finally relate to and someone whom I want to be my best friend 😉

Mardney Score: 6 out of 5 Flerkens! (one Flerken ate another, so it gets a bonus point)

Reading Again

I used to read, and then I didn’t, and then I tried again, and then I didn’t, and now… well, spoilers!

Books and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the years — an on-again/off-again love affair commensurate with the volatility of Ross and Rachel (though slightly less annoying). What if we were to invent time travel for the express purpose of asking myself at various ages what my present opinion was on books? Well, beyond being an exceptionally terrible use of resources, it’d probably go a little something like this:

Baby Mark: “Blurgh bla… mo mo mo pffftghst.”

Young child Mark: “I love to read! In first grade I was in the advanced reader’s group. I liked Frog and Toad stories, they were funny. As I get older, I like Charlotte’s Web, James and the Giant Peach, The Hardy Boys, Jumanji, The Trumpet of the Swan, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Dr. Seuss, etc. — and I sometimes stay up way too late reading and get a little in trouble for it.”

Late elementary school Mark: “I like to make movies! Stop-motion stuff is really cool. I still read sometimes, though mostly for school.”

Jr. High Mark: “Ugh… why do we have to analyze and study all of these books? Some of them are okay, but all of these reports are so annoying.”

Early high school Mark: “Animal Farm is pretty cool. Shakespeare is so stupid, who cares? I liked Of Mice and Men and To Kill a Mockingbird, even though I already saw the movies and they are really great. I only read if I have to for school, though, and even then — I get away with as little as I can.

Later high school Mark: “I’m going to shoot my head off if we have to keep reading about these idiots in The Great Gatsby. Shakespeare again?? What’s this poem… ‘The Red Wheelbarrow’? It doesn’t mean anything! Stop analyzing everything! Ugh, let’s go watch a movie.”

And that was it. My experiences in school tarnished my affection for books to such a degree that it was years until I aspired to try reading for pleasure again. Even then, there were starts and stops. Several times I bent my will to the dream of being a prolific reader, consuming great tomes and enjoying all that I came across. But I often wore myself out on these ventures, reading a couple of books that I enjoyed, followed by a couple that I did not until my interest in the written word had deteriorated once again.

This year, however, things have been different. Perhaps it’s because I’m recently engaged, or because I’m eyeballing my 37th birthday coming down the track, but I felt that I was ready — not only that I should try reading again for pleasure, but that I could. The weekend before New Year’s Eve, I shared my personal challenge to read again with Sydney, and she eagerly opted to join me. She promptly signed up for a Goodreads account, and I dusted off my old profile, which had itself felt the ebb and flow of my reading interests, from previous attempts at enjoying fiction to an academic turn of adding only non-fiction books to my list. We each spent some time that night adding to our personal “Want to read” lists, and then we took a visit to my local library on New Year’s Eve before they closed (we party hard, I tell ya).

I had a tough time making a decision on a book once we were there. This was just a blind visit, and I went in ready to just pick up some random choice from the Classics section or elsewhere — but I froze. Faced with a growing dread and frustration, I simply couldn’t figure out where to start. “I don’t enjoy reading,” I’d hear echoing in my head as I perused the shelves, and every synopsis and title began to run together into a blur of “meh” responses.

Fortunately, I was not there alone 🙂

Sydney had selected a graphic novel and what turned out to be a collection of spooky short stories, and she sat waiting patiently as I flustered myself in the aisles. I finally broke down and asked for her help; not that Sydney is a literary master adept at choosing the perfect piece of literature for any given mood, but what I needed from her was simply to hold my hand before I wigged out and started burning books in confused chaos.

Thankfully, she was my steady rock in this instance and the library still stands.

Sydney made a random selection from the Classics section, which we’d perused through several times already, and it sounded like it could be fun, so we went with it. The book she’d chosen for me, A Confederacy of Dunces, proved to be an absolute blast of a read: insane characters, absurdity growing upon absurdity, and not long into the story did I get to let Sydney know that she had chosen stupendously! The read started off a little slowly, and so I looked up what others suggested was a good length of time to spend with a book before realizing it wasn’t worth continuing. I found my answer (general consensus is 50-100 pages), but I thankfully didn’t need to make use of it. I made my way through all 400+ pages and gave it a 4 out of 5 stars!

Iron Throne digital painting by Marc Simonetti — “Iron throne” by Marc Simonetti

My reading venture was off to a great start, and we’re just beginning. I also read Sydney’s graphic novel before she took it home with her, and wasn’t so much a fan — but that was fine, and it didn’t scare me off of reading for all time. I decided to finish reading A Game of Thrones next, a story that I had very much enjoyed when I first started reading it years ago, only to remember after checking the book out last month that I actually had finished it. It was no matter, though, as I figured it would be a good refresher to read it before continuing on to the second book in its series. That struck off another great accomplishment, though: I re-read a book! I’ll re-watch movies that I love, but now I’ve done the same with a book (A Game of Thrones = 5/5, by the way), and to several of those younger Mark’s we visited above that would be an unfathomable waste of time.

Storytelling is storytelling, and while my tastes will dictate which stories I am drawn to and enjoy or not, I am glad to have finally seemed to unshackle myself from the self-imposed struggle to enjoy reading. Sydney and I set personal goals on our Goodreads accounts, a benefit of starting up at the start of the new year, and I have given myself the goal of 7 for 2019. I’ll be in the world of dragons and kings and fantasy for a while, but finishing this series by year’s end will mean that I hit my goal.

Not that it matters, though, because I am reading again — and quite enjoying myself in the process 🙂

P.S. – It is oft suggested that one of the best ways to improve one’s writing is by reading, so if my newfound interest in reading again is of any clue… there may just happen to be a new short story in the works here at Mushakian, Inc..

P.P.S. – Mushakian, Inc. doesn’t really exist.

East Coast Travels

The tales of my first cross-country trip.

My long-time friend, Nina, moved across the country to Fredericksburg, Virginia with her husband more than two years ago. Since then, I had promised her that one day I would visit, and I finally had the chance to do so. The last time I traveled on a plane was when I was around 7-8 years old, and I had visited my aunt who lived in Dallas, Texas. I didn’t remember a single thing about that plane trip, so the experience of riding on a plane was basically new to me. Mark willingly came with me, which was a relief because I would have been too scared to go alone. Our plane tickets included an overnight flight with a stop at Boston, Massachusetts and an arrival in Richmond, Virginia.

Day 0.5 (Sunday Night-Monday Morning, a.k.a. The Overnight Flight)

The start of our trip was very hopeful. We got through security surprisingly quickly, and that was the thing that I was most stressed about. I spent seven dollars on two granola bars because I thought I would need snacks (note to self: bring your own snacks!)

A quick selfie before the flight madness.

Then, after a bit of a delay, we were on the plane to fly across the country. I queued up 13 Going On 30 to watch on my personal seat screen, but stopped after 15 minutes to try to go to sleep. I said to Mark, “If you need me, just tap on my shoulder”. As soon as I finished that sentence, we experienced some intense turbulence. I clenched my arm rests and held on for dear life, and luckily, it was over within a couple minutes. The rest of the plane ride was pretty bumpy, which meant that neither of us got any sleep. I spent the next four hours switching through the live TV channels, too bored and too anxious to sleep or watch a movie.

We arrived in Boston at five in the morning. The temperature was 20 degrees Fahrenheit, which easily won the award for the coldest I’ve ever experienced. We were both very hungry and very delirious. We took a quick seat at our gate to come up with a plan for getting food.

Why wear a neck pillow on your neck when you can wear it on your head?

We saw that the airport had a few Burger Kings, and after I mentioned that I’ve never had Burger King breakfast before, we decided to get food there. We didn’t know that the Burger King in our terminal was actually outside, and we ended up walking all the way across the terminal. We were NOT going to brace the below freezing temperature for some Burger King breakfast. There was another Burger King in a nearby terminal, so we made our way there, only to be greeted with a gate over the counter. It didn’t open until 10am! Desperate for food, we walked back to our terminal and got Dunkin’ Donuts instead. After eating our food (and messily, on Mark’s part), burrowing ourselves in blankets, and moving our seats away from the freezing windows, it was finally time to leave Boston and get on another plane for a less-than-two-hour-flight to Richmond.

Day 1 (Monday afternoon, a.k.a. The Introduction to Virginia)

Nina picked us up from the airport, and we made our journey to her house in Fredericksburg. We were immediately greeted by Nina’s dog, who is the cutest, kookiest little fluff ball I’ve ever met.

This was taken later in the week, but it was the only picture I took of her, trying to capture her muppet-like face.

Before we were going to do anything, I made sure that I took a shower first because I was covered in plane/airport germs. Nina started making chili, which was meant to be ready by the time her husband, Ben, came home. We all got ready, and Nina took us to an Italian deli called Basilico. We had a lovely late lunch that certainly hit the spot, and our friend Josh, who had also moved to Virginia and, coincidentally, in the same town as Nina, met up with us there. While Josh went to his house to pick up various video game consoles, Nina took us to a local coffee shop, and then we spent the rest of the night eating chili (Nina still needs to email me her improvised recipe) and playing Mario Party on the Nintendo Switch (my right arm received a killer workout, and was pretty sore the next day).

Day 2 (Tuesday, a.k.a. What’s a Belk?)

The sleep you get after not getting any sleep the night before is the best, in my humble opinion. We were ready to start our first full day in Virginia with the help of delicious brunch from a hipster joint called Mercantile, located in historic downtown Fredericksburg.

We visited a nearby antique store after our meal and had some good laughs. There were plenty of creepy dolls, civil war memorabilia, and old pottery. I found a wonderful postcard in the “humor” section and was about to buy it until Mark pointed out the $5 tag written in the corner.

We had to leave the antique store because Nina had an appointment to get her car tires replaced. We went to Costco, and this particular Costco was attached to a secret indoor mall, and the secret indoor mall was attached to a giant store called Belk. Even Nina didn’t know what Belk was. We each made our guesses of what it was (I said a department store, Mark said a home goods store like a Crate and Barrel, Nina said a store like Ikea) and made it our plan to walk in after dropping off the car. I was more on the money; Belk turned out to be more like a Kohl’s, not exactly a department store, but more focused on clothing. There were even signs for “Belk bucks” that looked exactly like “Kohl’s cash”, so I guess Belk is just the East Coast Kohl’s. I was hoping that none of us had guessed correctly, and it was actually something completely random and unexpected. We left Belk and walked around the mall, and there was an outside shopping center also attached to it (this mall was the mall that keeps on giving). We spent the rest of our time waiting for the car by browsing around in a bookstore that was the equivalent to our Barnes & Noble.

It was getting late (time flew by SO quickly the entire trip), and in true California fashion, it was going to be a Taco Tuesday night for dinner. Nina took us to Wegmans, and OH, was that an experience! You know how people get excited about being at Disneyland? Well, Wegmans was MY Disneyland. For those of you who are unaware, I work at a natural grocery store, and you could fit 2 Frazier Farms inside Wegmans (maybe 3 if you’re generous). I was amazed by every aisle and department we went through. There was a full seafood bar, like actual high-end restaurant level seafood bar, right in the middle of the meat department. There was an amazing loose-leaf tea section, and the tea was really inexpensive (I ended up getting some yuzu sencha tea). It took us double the amount of time it would have taken to buy our taco ingredients because we were having so much fun exploring the store. Then, we settled back at the household. Ben came home from work, and he and Nina cooked all the taco fixings together. Josh came over, we all happily ate our tacos (even though we chose corn tortillas, and they all just crumbled onto our plates), and played a board game this time. It was Would You Rather, and there were a lot of laughs.

Day 3 (Wednesday, a.k.a. The Dog Mall)

I got maybe 2 hours of sleep Tuesday night because I had some majorly painful period cramps (just my luck, eh?). Mark and I were by ourselves for Wednesday morning. Nina was receiving a certificate for staying committed to marriage with Ben after he recently reenlisted with the Marine Corps, and she wouldn’t be back until the afternoon. So, we ate cereal, gave the dog lots of pets and snuggles, and watched random Youtube videos (most of them were videos I liked in high school, which included an education on the theories behind Salad Fingers), the first episode of Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, and one of my favorite episodes of Parks and Recreation. Then, Nina was home, and she informed us that Ben got the rest of the day off from work and that he really wanted pizza. So, we decided on Benny Vitali’s, and we had New York style (they call it “the Virginia slice” there) slices bigger than my head! As for festivities for the rest of our day, Nina wanted to take us to the “dog mall” in Richmond, which was an hour south. I was expecting a whole mall dedicated to dogs, complete with dog boutiques and other stores, dog parks everywhere, and of course, DOGS everywhere. It was actually just a regular outdoor mall for people that was dog friendly. And because it was so cold (about 35 degrees), there was hardly anyone shopping, and just a few dogs playing at one of the dog park areas. Since we did drive an hour to get there, we explored a little bit. We went into a dog boutique and picked out a dollar chicken foot (that dog is OBSESSED with chicken) to give to her as a treat later that night (she, of course, excitedly devoured it). On the way back home, Ben took us down Monument Avenue, which featured many civil war general statues and beautiful old brick townhomes. It was great to see some architecture that isn’t around on the West Coast. We arrived back at home a little later than we had wanted, so Josh didn’t come over that night. But after eating some very delicious chicken soup (Mark’s favorite meal of the trip), Ben went to bed, and the three of us watched the first episode of my favorite show, The Haunting of Hill House. And then everybody went to bed for the night.

Day 4 (Thursday, a.k.a. Protests and A Burning Trashcan)

Our last full day on the East Coast was dedicated to all-day sight-seeing and other touristy activities in Washington, DC. We got up early, since it was an hour drive to the metro station and about a half hour on the metro to get into DC. All bundled up with gloves, beanies, and extra snow jackets (the high of the day was forecasted to be 30 degrees), we made our way to the Franconia station. My favorite inside joke of the trip occurred on this day in the car. Nina had been asking me what music to play in the car, and this time, she had misunderstood me. I asked her to play a new Killers song, which was called “The Man”. She has Apple Carplay, and she said, “Siri, can you play ‘Tomato’ by The Killers?” This is obviously not a real song, but Siri did her best and played a song. I was laughing so hard that I didn’t get to see what song she did choose to play. We parked the car and got ready to take the metro. It was 27 degrees outside, and it stayed that way until mid-afternoon. There weren’t that many options of things to do because of the unfortunately timed government shutdown, which meant that the national parks and free museums were closed indefinitely. I love museums, so we decided to go to a cheaper one that was only $8 for admittance. This museum was the National Museum of Women in the Arts, and it was beautiful (the East Coast knows how to create really extravagant museums).

During this time of year, the museum featured an exhibition on Rodarte and her fashion designs. The dresses were, of course, beautiful, and the mannequins were stylishly judging us common folk.

The rest of the museum had some wonderful art pieces from many different female artists around the world. My favorite piece was a sculpture of a pregnant woman. She just looks so happy with her round belly!

There was also this piece, which could haunt your dreams if you stare too closely.

After the museum, we were READY for some food. And what place did we absolutely need to go to while we were on the East Coast? Potbellys, of course! This particular location was a little crowded, but very small for the amount of people that were in there. We ate our sandwiches, pausing for brief moments to breathe and exclaim, “MMMM so good”. We sat at the counter facing the window to the street. What we saw surprised us all (and will surprise you too! Keep reading!). The outside trashcan was ON FIRE! How???? And why wasn’t anyone else worried about it? By the time we left, the plastic was still burning, but wasn’t in flames anymore. I guess East Coasters don’t care about burning trashcans. If that happened in California, it would start a giant wildfire. (Sorry, I didn’t snap any pictures of the trashcan).

Next on the DC itinerary was some monument viewing. On the way to the Washington and Lincoln Memorials, we stopped to check out the White House, but only the back of it was visible from where we were. Since we were right in the middle of the government shutdown (14 days in, to be exact), we were physically in the middle of a full-on American protest. I had seen a protest one day in Los Angeles, but it wasn’t even on the same level as this protest. There were hundreds of people, maybe even thousands, marching to the White House, complete with several camera crews and well-known politicians (but unknown to me because I don’t know much about politics, oops).

It was a truly historical event, and I never imagined that I would be able to watch it happen in person.

Another apparently ordinary East Coast thing that I was weirdly excited about seeing? Steam coming out of a manhole.

Now it was memorial time. Seeing these things in person is a lot different from seeing them on TV or in a movie. You know how people are always saying that Lincoln is GIANT in the memorial? Well, it’s true.

We also saw the Vietnam Veteran memorial. There were lots of leaves everywhere because not only was it super windy, but the groundskeepers haven’t been around to clean up during the shutdown.

Our last DC activity was a quick trip to a gift shop called Chocolate Moose, and this place was very Sydney approved. Super quirky. I bought some caramels for my mom and I and a cute little coin purse that reads, “I’m having an OUT OF MONEY experience!” (I love puns).

When we hopped back on the metro, we checked the traffic back home, and it was a two-hour drive. We were also really hungry (it was dinner time). Our two choices were to (1), eat somewhere before heading back to let traffic die down a little, or (2), eat once we get home. Nina mentioned that there was a Nando’s in Alexandria (a town in Virginia in between DC and our metro station). I immediately screamed “YES!” because I thought Nando’s was only in the UK or Australia, and after seeing all of the cheeky Nando’s memes, it was a must-go.

We had to take that trolley to survive the cold.

This Nando’s experience was incredibly cheeky.

Traffic did die down by the time we finished our dinner. Josh came over again to see us on our last night, and again we all played video games (the classic Josh hangouts always include video games).

Day 5 (Friday, a.k.a. Going Back to Cali)

The morning consisted of packing, more cereal eating, and lots of goodbye pets to the dog. Overall, I didn’t get that much sleep during the week, so I dozed off for most of the car ride to the Richmond airport. We went through security even quicker than San Diego. After the quick flight to Boston, we paid a visit to a gift shop to buy some stickers for myself and my mom, as well as some salt water taffy for her. I told her I would get her something from Boston, since she loves the Patriots, but settled on the taffy because all things Patriots-related were way too expensive for me. I had started to get a bad headache, probably from being sleep deprived and being at the airport, so I was very relieved when it was time to get on the plane. This ride was so much smoother, and I enjoyed being able to see the sunset through my window.

We left the East Coast right before the winter storm came through, but I was able to see some snow from up above.

We arrived back in good ol’ San Diego after six hours on the plane. It was around 60 degrees (ohhhhh yeah). When people asked me how my trip was, I said, “Good, but COLD!!!”

Trip highlights: finally getting to meet my fluffy dog friend, eating so much good food, being amazed by Wegmans, and spending time with my best friend, Nina.

10/10 would visit again

I am thankful

Being thankful.. it’s the hip thing to do!

Is this the cliché blog-thing to do on Thanksgiving? Yes.

Am I going to do it anyways? Yep.

Around election time, one may often hear the phrase “Vote; it doesn’t matter who you vote for — just vote!” I think it’s just as important, if not more so, that we echo that same sentiment about being thankful. You may feel like you don’t have much or perhaps things haven’t been going very well in life, and I understand that life comes with its valleys — several of my own friends are going through some rough things at the moment, and there are a lot of hurting folks out there in the world. A while ago I began opening my morning prayers by being thankful, and I have consistently found that such activity snowballs into increasing thankfulness. The more I focused on what I had to be thankful for, the more other things came to mind.

So, here’s a quick little Thanksgiving day list about some of the things I am thankful for… and I encourage y’all to play along at home. Every day 🙂

God’s forgiveness. I am far from perfect, and that God can look at me as I fall so short of what I was designed to be and still offer me grace by the sacrifice of Jesus on a cross… well, that’s plum brilliant and humbles me any time I really think about it.
That ~~terrifying~~ beautiful turkey with me in the image above. Knowing Sydney has not only allowed God to teach me so much about love and patience (and etc.) through her, but I have also just enjoyed the ever-living heck out being with her. Really looking forward to getting hitched to her next fall, and I’m thankful she said yes 🙂
Bears. Ya know, I really love how cute bears are, with their big, huggable bumbling bodies. I don’t claim to fully understand what the after-life will be like, but my Earthly self really hopes that bears will be there and I can hug one.
Movies. I am chomping at the bit to see what happens in the next Avengers movie (and Captain Marvel before it), can watch the trailer for the new Godzilla movie and get teary because I’m so giddy about it, and am just so darn thankful that I have all my senses to fully enjoy how wonderful movies are… and that I live in this time when cinematic wonder is at such a visual peak.
And speaking of that trailer…

Isn’t music wonderful? The majesty and beauty of that trailer’s version of Clair de Lune is such a joy, but then just the other day I was driving to church belting out Audioslave’s Like a Stone, and it’s such a pleasure to be able to feel both the emotional weight and the musical power of that song.
I have the opportunity in my new-ish job to be a part of something big and interesting, and yet I am also afforded the chance to work from home which has been such a blessing in many ways.
My church’s youth group. I have told them several times already, but these kids really are such a tremendous group of young people… I am very thankful that I get to spend time with them each week. Even though they’re a little insane.
The color blue. I’m looking at my loveseat, and it’s just such a lovely tone and hue, and how fortunate I am that I get to enjoy looking at it!
I ate great food today, but I also have so much access to great, safe food every day.
God has blessed me with a healthy dose of patience, and that has allowed me the wonderful opportunity of being an open ear and encouraging voice for many a friend over the years — something I wouldn’t be able to do on my own strength, for sure.
Today I was stuck in holiday traffic, but in that time I was able to see the sunlight glistening off the crests of waves in the Pacific ocean, I hung out with a German Shepherd for a while as it rode passenger in the car next to me, and I watched some birds do some pretty cool flying about above us as we all slogged along in our cars.
Man, have you seen birds? They just flap their wings and they zoom right up into the air at will. We make sci-fi movies about superheros with those abilities, and here are these little buggers flying around us every day.
Etc., etc., etc.

Feel free to give us your own list of things you’re thankful for in the comments… it doesn’t necessarily matter what you’re thankful for, just be thankful 🙂

Yes on CA Prop 7: It’s about time!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Daylight Saving Time… and more!

I am not a fervently political person, in that you likely won’t be reading a vast array of articles here on my political opinions — though, as I get older I may have to start writing more often about “the good ol’ days” and those darn kids on my lawn. I’m not at that point in my life now (not YET), but I did want to take a moment and share some information about our upcoming election this year.

Please note: While this is an article specifically about a California proposition, and is therefore only immediately relevant to voting citizens of this state, the time may come when it is something that voters in other states will be considering, as well… so it may worth your while!

Please note this note, too: It may just seem like a wall of text below (and it is), so though I have attempted to be economical with my word count, if you would like the super-succinct version, simply look to the title of this post 🙂

What is CA Prop. 7?

So, today, I’m posting to briefly discuss California Proposition 7, which is on the ballot for voters to address in the upcoming midterm election this November 6. In 1949, a proposition was passed to establish Daylight Saving Time (DST), the annual change in time during the summer months. This year’s Prop 7 simply repeals that old bill and alters the language in our state Constitution to allow for the establishment of a permanent time. Prop 7 does NOT automatically create permanent daylight saving time — to do so would further require the approval of California legislature by a 2/3 majority vote and then a final approval by the Federal government. California Prop. 7 simply paves the way for the state to establish a year-round time, whether standard time or daylight saving time (with additional federal approval) rather than our current semiannual adjustment.

California’s Prop. 7, above all else, allows for a viable conversation on the subject of how we determine our state’s time.

Now, I am fully aware that the most pressing issue of our day isn’t whether or not we change our clocks twice a year. I do believe that if a citizen cares about a matter, big or small, it is good for society as a whole for them to peacefully and intelligently share that. So, this is simply my little way of bringing light to the subject of DST (no pun intended… but that’s too bad, because my fiancée loves puns). In this post I will address the potential Economic and Social Safety issues at hand in the time-change conversation, but I think the beating heart of the issue of time-change is a Quality of Life one.

But we’ll get to that 🙂

The pros and cons of CA Prop. 7

The first adoption of daylight saving time as national policy happened in World War 1, as Germany/Austria-Hungary established an effort to reduce the country-wide use of coal… conserving it for military use. Since then it has been adopted by many, but not most, countries. Today, some countries in the world have themselves on a permanent daylight saving time. Even within our own country, two states (Arizona and Hawaii) do not make use of DST, and during the energy crisis of the 1970’s, President Nixon ordered the entire United States onto DST for 15 months.

While I have known nothing else but the semi-annual switching of time during my lifetime (and as a life-long Californian), the issue of time-changing is obviously not as much of a “given” as it may seem to some. Hopefully, in a few key points below, I can help further illuminate things for you (pun intended on that one!).

Does Daylight Saving Time save money?

While the concept may have originally spread in an effort to conserve the energy resource of coal, DST may no longer have the same impact in current society. In 2006, Indiana established a state-wide implementation of DST (only a few counties had used it prior), and it offered the opportunity for a natural experiment of modern data. According to a study which analyzed the residential energy demand, Indiana’s change to DST actually coincided with an increase in the state’s energy use from 1%-4%. This study also pointed to simulations which deem that DST often offers a wash on energy savings, at best — the need for less artificial lighting in the evening is countered by extra heating/cooling costs earlier in the day.

Some argue that the extra daylight hours provided by the time change offer the opportunity for consumers to remain outdoors longer to shop. A study conducted by JPMorgan Chase compared the spending habits between the population of Los Angeles, CA and Phoenix, AZ (where there is no DST), and found that while the time change in spring did have a positive impact on spending amount in L.A., the time change in fall had a greater negative impact. This means that in L.A., the impact of DST on local commerce ends up negative overall. The study is thorough in mentioning that this comparison with Phoenix was also made between San Diego, CA and Denver, CO. Though the impact in Denver was even worse than in L.A., San Diego actually showed an overall positive consumer change in the light of DST (oof, so many initials in this post!). So, while this study does not infer that the impact of DST is always bad… it doesn’t support the idea that DST is automatically good for pushing money through the economy, either.

Will this put California out of sync?

I work remotely with a company based on the U.S. east coast. When my co-workers are rising for their work day, I am still heartily dozing. If California were to establish a year-round time, this means that for several months out of the year, instead of the current 3-hour time difference between myself and the other side of the country, there would be a 4-hour difference. Similarly, California would be out of sync with states in its own time zone for parts of the year. I understand that this is a valid concern for some, and I have no data to argue against it. However, I will turn to the experience of non-time-change states like Arizona and Hawaii and wonder whether or not interstate business is somehow less possible there because of the semiannual time disparity? Perhaps, though a valid concern, this is not as terrible an issue as it may seem.

Following this, there may actually be a future ahead in which this is a non-issue altogether. Two states and several U.S. territories already do not follow DST, and just this past March, Florida passed a bill which would establish permanent DST for itself. To do so, Florida will still need approval of Congress, but the resolution easily passed the state legislature with a bipartisan majority. Just a week after that, Florida senator Marco Rubio introduced The Sunshine Protection Act to the U.S. Senate, which would establish permanent daylight saving time nationwide.

Similarly, in Europe, where the current use of DST first spawned, there is a growing movement to do away with DST. Last month the European Commission released a proposal to end daylight saving time, encouraged by a survey of 4.6 million Europeans which landed at 84% in public approval of ending DST. The funny thing about this push for change in Europe is that it is in part spearheaded by Finland, one of the northernmost countries in the world; their reasoning? Health issues, mostly… but more on that further below.

Is there a safety concern?

Opponents to the establishment of permanent DST offer that this may result in greater traffic accidents due to an increase in time spent driving in the dark, and that it may pose a safety risk to children as they make their way to school in darkness. I have found no studies or data to directly support these hesitations, and society seems to remain intact in areas where DST is a permanent staple, but of course we want to hear any logical concerns. As a reminder, CA Prop 7 does not establish permanent DST, which these concerns I’ve read are specifically aimed at, and I am more interested here in pushing to obliterate the actual act of semiannual time change, itself, not dictating whether we should permanently be on DST vs. standard time. To report honestly, though, when daylight saving time in the U.S. was lengthened in 2007, one study reveals an overall decrease in robberies — which makes sense, given the change in darkness during normal waking hours. Whether or not this information will be useful in arguing DST vs. standard time, I couldn’t say, but I want to be sure I’m presenting this with transparency.

Though I found no information directly regarding traffic accidents and time-change, I did come across something that addresses issues with the change in sleep. A study which looked at traffic accidents in Canada 1 week before, immediately after, and 1 week after the time change noted that the loss of sleep during the spring change showed a correlation with greater traffic accidents for at least the two weeks after DST was enacted. Interestingly, during the fall time change (in which we gain an extra hour of sleep), immediately after the return to standard time there was a decrease in traffic accidents (logically understandable), but then a week after the extra hour had been obtained, traffic accidents actually increased! That final note may simply be the result of an extraneous anomaly, but what this study does support is that DST can have a serious impact on citizens’ sleep… and that leads me into my next point.

Health concerns related to the time change

For me, this is the heart of the issue. And I don’t use that word coincidentally, either, as several studies have shown that the time change likely incites heart attacks in at-risk individuals. While a general lack of enough sleep, which is common after the spring-forward transition to DST, is consistently reported as detrimental to one’s health, the health issues related to our time-changing ways are all related to disrupting our actual internal rhythms twice per year. Whether it’s an increase in suicides, an increase in miscarriages for in-vitro fertilized women, or an increase in stroke risk for the first couple of days after time change, there is a strong case to be made that regularly shocking our sleep cycle system into a state of confusion twice a year is a health risk.

Now, please note, I am not suddenly wringing my hands in fear of the evils of time change. These health issues, while fully substantiated by research, aren’t going to be the downfall of society. As it is, California itself has changed time twice per year for over 50 years, and I’m not living in a wasteland wilderness with a former population decimated by time-change death. If we as a society, though, have this option to take even a small action to improve overall health, I hope that is something we can at the very least discuss.

And heck, even if you don’t care about any of that, don’t discount the emotional peace and joy of never having to go through the physical and mental fogginess of losing a mandated hour of sleep ever again 🙂

——————————————

So, thus concludes my article. I highly urge all California voters to vote Yes on Proposition 7 this coming Tuesday (if I haven’t already missed you early/by-mail voters), and though I aspired here to present balanced and fair information, I also hope that I have presented my case well enough to perhaps persuade any who were on the fence!

Happy Halloween 2018

From our coffin to yours!

Hope it was BLOODY great!

We’re Engaged!

A tale of surprises and ring-giving… and the next chapter in an already great story!

The big event happened two days ago, Monday afternoon, but let’s go back a little bit first to set the story.

It was August 31 of this year, and I found myself in a jewelry store in Carlsbad Village where I was about to purchase an engagement ring! Hmm, wait, no… let’s go back a bit further.

It was June 21, 1982, when I first entered the world — crying and covered in goop. Wait, that’s too far back.

September 30, 2016 — my first date with a beautiful girl named Sydney Thiessa 🙂 Ah, there we are! I had met her in an adorable, round-about way that I may retell here one day, but not now. The first time we spent a day together one-on-one, Sydney and I visited the beach in La Jolla Cove. While there, we noticed a cute Italian restaurant, Acquavite, and Sydney mentioned that she would love to go there one day.

I’ll let you guess where our first date was 🙂

A week after our first date, we made things official, and the previous 2 years have been a fantastic experience of loving her and being loved in return. From the very beginning, we discussed our future as if it was a given because it felt natural to do so. Of course, as time went on, conversation skewed even more seriously… we’d mapped out things like the where/when/what of our future wedding ceremony and honeymoon, and from pretty early on it wasn’t a question of IF we’d be married, but simply a matter of when I’d pop the question.

Well, we wonder no more… but the story isn’t quite there, yet.

Defining the ring

Just as Sydney and I meeting was only possible after a long series of events building off of the events which came before them, our engagement story has several steps to it. A while ago we had started discussing just what she liked in an engagement ring. Originally, her thoughts were: rose gold, three-stone, simple band. So, I did plenty of independent research, learned a lot about diamonds and gold, and had actually found what I thought would be our ring. I kept an eye out and about online, but I was otherwise ready… just waiting for the right time.

Then we went to Arizona.

This past August, Sydney and I joined our church’s youth group on a trip to Arizona. There we helped serve at an outreach/school for the local native American population, and it was a really great time to not only bond with our students, but for Syds and I to share together in serving God that way. While that trip is deserving of its own blog post, this adventure played a very crucial part in our engagement story. On the last full day of the trip, our group took a day for itself and explored a national park. In one of the gift shops, Sydney noted a silver-colored turquoise ring she liked, and I quietly sneaked off and bought it to surprise her. She loved how the ring looked on her hand, and the Sunday after our trip was over, she told me that she had changed her mind on ring color! I am a much bigger fan of silver/white-gold than yellow/rose jewelry tones, so I was personally thrilled to hear it, and we went back to my house to explore what exactly she liked. What we landed on was white gold, single stone, decorative band. And vintage… definitely vintage 🙂

The hunt is on

So, I was off… scouring every nook and cranny of the internet in search for the perfect ring for my perfect girl. I had tabs open on my computer for several online retailers that I would refresh multiple times each day. I gathered a list of places I could also visit in person, and I began hitting the streets, as well. On August 31, I had a great lunch with a friend from church, Scott, where we discussed relationship and my future with Sydney. We also discussed my ring search, and I let him know that I had the names of a couple of local stores that sold estate jewelry. We ate right next to Sydney’s work, and I actually got to see her for a moment before she started her shift that day. After a traffic-filled drive down on the freeway (I live ~40 minutes north of my church and her) and a filling lunch, I almost felt like heading straight home afterwards. I was already on the road, looking at both the south and north on-ramps of the 5 freeway, when I decided to just go ahead and check these stores now anyways. So, I headed down to Carlsbad… no idea that when I did finally head north to go home later, it would be with an engagement ring in my possession.

My first stop was Copper Canary, and I chuckled when I saw that it was literally right next door to a boutique store Sydney and I had visited weeks earlier during a street art fair. It was a warm Friday afternoon, and the store was fairly quiet. A gal was milling about, bouncing a baby on her hip, and chatting with a couple of store workers, while a couple was looking at items at the front of the store. I strolled in and started browsing a case of antique rings. I didn’t see anything that fit what I was looking for, so I figured it might be another bust. For brevity’s sake, it ended up that the gal with the baby was actually the owner of the store in on her day off, and she’s the one who worked with me in presenting a lot of ring options from the back. It was a really wonderful experience, and for any potential jewelry buyers out there, I highly recommend visiting Allie and her family-run operation. I was especially lucky, as the owner was able to check the backroom stock while her mom strolled the sleeping baby around the store, and I had very pleasant, relaxed conversation with mom while I waited between batches of rings to view. Admittedly, I was a bundle of nerves — not anxiety, but excitement of the unknown and big steps — and having this family to chat and go through the ring-selection process with is something I’ll always remember and always be grateful for 🙂

I put the jeweler here to work, too; she brought out several trays of options as I pared down what I was looking for. There was one ring that stayed out on the counter from the very first tray she brought me, and as I held one of the last rings, I told the jeweler, “Ya know… I’m holding this one in my hand, but my eyes keep moving past it to that one in the tray behind it.” So, I held that one. I asked Allie to put it on so I could see it on a female hand (which, apparently, most guys think is a weird thing to ask until they realize that most guys ask). I held it again. I took several big breaths. I took another big breath for good measure. And then I said, “Let’s do it.”

1930's vintage engagement ring — I think I done alright!

The ring is wonderfully beautiful — a 1930’s platinum/18k white gold setting with its original European cut diamond. I asked about the color/clarity rating, and my mouth dropped when she mentioned that they were near-perfect stats. I’d been studying diamonds so much that I never imagined coming across such a lovely and near-perfect stone for this price, but there it was… and it was mine. As we wrapped up my sale, the owner, Allie, asked me what my proposal plans were, and I mentioned that I had some ideas, but that I was definitely cemented on waiting until our 2-year anniversary on October 8th. She laughed and wished me well, saying that once most guys had their ring they couldn’t wait.

I understood what she meant as I walked out of the store beaming and ready to burst. While in the store I’d texted my lunch-date friend from earlier that I was seriously looking, and once I was out with an engagement ring in my possession I just HAD to tell someone. I wanted to keep this to myself until the day I popped the question, but I had to share it with at least one person I knew… and he was the one 🙂 By the way, congrats to Scott Hoerner for maintaining the secret right along with me for over a month!

Okay.. so I did tell one more person that day, too.

I had to fill up for gas before hopping back on the freeway, and I was on such a high cloud that I must’ve been a little light-headed from the lack of oxygen in the upper atmosphere. I got out of the car and forgot to open my gas tank, and as I laughed at myself, I noticed the lady at the pump in front of me notice and smile. I explained that I’d just purchased an engagement ring, and she offered an understanding nod and congratulations. I let her know that it was great to tell someone in person, and we laughed as I surmised that I was probably safe to do so with a stranger at a gas station 🙂

The wait

For several days, I kept taking the ring out and just sat on the floor looking at it with a big, goofy grin on my face. I held it. A couple of times, I prayed over it and the woman I was going to give it to. For the most part, though, the ring sat tucked away in my closet. In fact, Sydney came over and spent time here, completely oblivious that her engagement ring was sitting feet away from her.

I went through a lot of ideas of how I was going to do it. Sydney didn’t want a big display, nothing public or with a hidden photographer. This was to be a moment just between us, and so I spent a lot of time trying to find the best venue. At one point, I was juggling around the idea of setting up her DSLR on a tripod as if we’re going to take a photo together, and then just quietly recording video of it. I practiced the speech about 783 times, and it was always different. I spent over a month with this proposal being more than just a one-day possibility, but an impending reality. And that beautiful lady of mine was none the wiser 🙂

So, over a month later, and we find ourselves at the night before. I’d decided that it’d be cool to show my dad the ring, and he and I ended up talking for a long time that night: about how Sydney was completely unaware (I’d originally told her I wanted to wait to ask until after she graduated college this May), about how only a few other people in the world even knew I had it, about our wedding plans, and about why I loved her. When I answered his why question with, “Because she’s comfortable… I’ve never met anyone with whom I am so entirely myself, and she loves me for it,” his eyes watered a bit… and he said that’s exactly how he knew he wanted to spend his life with my mom, too. My sister wandered into the room, and I ended up showing her. My mom was fast asleep, so I left her a note on the kitchen table, with the ring, so she could see it, too.

October 8, 2018

Oh boy, anniversary/proposal day! I picked up my beautiful girl in the early afternoon, and we exchanged our simple gifts/cards in the car before heading out. I’ve been in need of a way to keep drinks on my nice new desk, so she gave me a cool tree-limb-slice coaster. I bought her a nice candle: bonfire scented with a cool crackling wick for added effect. This weekend, during a trip with our youth group to a Christian camp in the mountains, she mentioned that she used to pretend Ring Pops were engagement rings when she was a kid, so as a joke (and to throw her off the trail even more), I also included a Ring Pop in her gift with a P.S. on the card that read “…to help hold you over until I can give you a real one.” Smooth 😉

Sydney photographing jellyfish — A beauty photographing beauties.

We spent the afternoon at Birch Aquarium, and I really enjoyed it… though my nerves were certainly getting the better of me! She was as cute as button taking photos of all of the fish, and I was busy trying to breathe deeply and keep from being obvious. I have the advantage of being a guy who sometimes has to endure the physical effects of anxiety, and I do genuinely get a little dizzy by looking through the warped view of fish tanks, so I had a sound excuse for my slight lack of calm. But I wasn’t shaking, I wasn’t afraid.

I was excited!

Sydney enjoying a drink at Acquavite — Making herself laugh with fancy drinking.

Our day was pretty loose, and since we left the aquarium both ready to eat, we decided to make our special dining experience a late lunch instead of an early dinner. And so, we found ourselves in the restaurant where it all started 2 years and 1 week prior — Acquavite. We ended up being seated at the same table we sat at for our first date, and during our meal one of our songs ended up playing in the background (“Son of a Preacher Man”… because, ya know, I’m the son of a preacher man). So many things just kept working out and it was a really wonderful day. After lunch, I walked us just across the street to a trail that skirts along the ocean cliffs, and we took a seat at a bench overlooking the Pacific. Sydney wanted to take a few shots of the view, so I sat back and enjoyed the view of her doing so 🙂 Throughout the day I took such joy looking at her, knowing what I was planning and that she had no idea, and reveling in how lucky I am to have her in my life. Here, as the actual moment finally approached, I was all but overcome with happiness and excitement… that beautiful, adorable, sweet woman standing just over yonder was about to be presented with this gift and promise that I had been holding onto for quite some time.

Sydney taking photographs of La Jolla cove — So cute, so unaware of what was coming!

La Jolla cove trail bench — The view I took in just before becoming an engaged man.

Satisfied with her shots, Sydney walked back to join me on the bench. We sat there for a few moments talking, my arm around her as she leaned on me, and I kept an eye on the people walking from either end of the trail. I knew that she didn’t want a big public display of a proposal, she wanted something intimate and quiet. I was happy to oblige her desire, and as the trail cleared, my moment had arrived. I will save exactly what I said for just the two of us, but I wrapped up with a, “So… I have this tissue in my pocket,” as I pulled out the folded tissue that held the engagement ring I’d chosen. The ring box I’d been given was far too big to conceal anywhere on my person, so that morning I had gently secured the ring within a tissue folded over several times. I’d been casually sticking my hand in my pocket all morning to feel the tissue and be sure the ring was still there, and now I was bringing it out.

This is when it dawned on her, as I heard a gasp escape Sydney’s lips 🙂

In hindsight, I probably should’ve practiced actually unfolding the flippin’ tissue, because I took what felt like 15 minutes trying to do so in the moment. I jokingly said, “Well, if I can unfold this darn tissue.. but it’s okay, I’ll wait for these people to pass,” referring then to a couple who had just approached us. As I loosened the ring finally, the couple had just passed, and I looked at the love of my life and said, “I would love to spend the rest of my life with you as my best friend, and as my wife.” I gingerly got down on one knee and presented the ring into her view, as Sydney breathed out, “Oh my gosh, is this really happening?”

“Sydney Elise Thiessa… will you marry me?”

Spoiler-alert: amidst the hugs and kisses and smiles, there was definitely a yes in there. I was still in a daze (a LOVE daze!), so I did jokingly clarify again after getting back onto the bench that she had said yes. My heart was booming, no longer in anticipatory excitement, but in a peaceful joy and happiness. My heart wasn’t the only thing booming, however. As mentioned above, I am a somewhat tense man, and yet with Sydney I find myself more relaxed than ever. Due to this, an unfortunate side-effect of my relaxed state in her presence is that I also tend to be a little more… farty. That’s right… I love this woman so much that I’m so physically relaxed that I just fart up a storm around her. Thankfully, it’s mostly amusing to her, but I bet ya didn’t expect to be reading about farts in a post about a marriage proposal! But that’s just what happened — a few moments after we’d settled back onto the bench together and she’d been admiring the ring, my body let things rip… and that old wood-slat bench reverberated so much that the loud amplification doubled my bride-to-be in enough laughter to almost knock her off the bench. I mention this only because, my dear reader, that is what true love really is. It isn’t the romantic location or grand gestures. It’s farting on park benches after a marriage proposal and laughing together about it.

Sydney Thiessa and Mark Mushakian engaged — #joy #love #stopFartingMarkMyMomIsCallingBack

1930's engagement ring on finger overlooking ocean — Le ring on le finger.

An unpleasant turn

So, after a phone call with her mom, a few photos taken, a bit of an explanation of just how much I’d planned without her having any idea, and a few more hugs and smooches, Sydney and I decided to try to make it to Copper Canary to get the ring resized. It was labeled as a size 6, which is what Sydney should be, but it will definitely need to be trimmed down.

A quick aside: the ring is on her right hand on purpose, if you noticed that in the photo above. She didn’t want an extra wedding band, so I offered an alternate tradition I’d heard of while growing up — upon engagement, the ring is placed on the right hand, and during the wedding ceremony it is moved to the left hand. That’s what we’ll be doing, and I had to remind her of the different hand when she offered me her left to place the ring onto. I can’t imagine why she wasn’t thinking clearly enough to remember 😉

On the car ride out of La Jolla, Sydney got a friend on the phone to share the news and we called my dad and chatted a bit. Traffic was a bit rough, so we were going to be skirting into the Carlsbad jeweler just minutes before they closed, but I thought we could make it. Unfortunately, about the same time we got into the car to head to the jeweler, Sydney’s stomach started feeling unwell. As I steered us through traffic on the freeway, she had really taken a turn for the worse, and I asked if she just wanted us to head straight to a pharmacy first and forget the jeweler. She nodded yes. My poor girl was in bad shape by the time I pulled into the Rite-Aid parking lot, and I left her behind with a just-in-case bag as I dashed in first for some stomach pain pills, and then again for a Sprite to help. We were there for a time, me doing all I could to make her comfortable while also giving her privacy when she felt like things might happen. For those not in the know, THAT part of being stomach-sick is just about my least favorite act and subject matter (I don’t even like to hear the word or think about it at all), but that was entirely superseded by the fact that I had to take care of my future bride. At a couple of points I was sure to let her know that she had no reason to feel guilty about suddenly being sick and possibly putting a damper on the rest of our day.

As I told her, my day was made the moment she said, “Yes.”

My aforementioned church friend, Scott, is both my pastor and a married man, so I sent him a quick text about how she was suddenly doing and asked him to pray for her to feel better quickly. He did one better and asked if he could call, and he and I prayed together. I really am grateful for God bringing that man into my life! After a while longer, Sydney said she was ready to just go home, and I drove us as gently as I could back up to Oceanside. I’d rolled up a jacket I had in the backseat for her to use as a pillow as she leaned against the car door, and as I crawled through traffic she eventually dozed off. I felt bad that my poor girl had to go through such a public discomfort, I know how miserable it is to be out and about on a fun occasion and then feel like death. She woke up just as I got us off the freeway, and as we got to her house, she started feeling worse again. I went in to let her mom know, and we all eventually trooped into the house together. I gave my fiancée a kiss on the forehead after she gave me a big, soft hug goodbye/thanks/love-you, and I left her to rest up.

One may think that it’s a bummer we ended our engagement day this way, and of course I wish for her sake that she didn’t have to go through that, but ya know what? Life happens. We can’t say if it was her meal or what, but the important point is that I was able to be there for her and with her… in sickness and in health, as the phrase goes. I felt as much love for her when she took my ring as when she took my jacket to rest her sick head on, because that is what love is (also, it’s laughing at farts). Thankfully she is feeling better, now, and while I made a stop at the grocery store that night to buy myself a carton of lactose-free ice cream to continue the celebration in her honor, I look forward to sharing a bit with her when she’s able 🙂

To the future!

So, that’s it, my friends. I, Mark Mushakian, am engaged to be married to the beautiful, doe-eyed, spunky, God-fearing, artsy, stylish, sweet (etc., etc.) Sydney Thiessa, and I am absolutely thrilled to be able to say so. I am certain that there will be plenty of marriage-related posts ahead, but I will leave this novel-length post at just the engagement story for now. In my introductory post of this new blog/site, I mentioned that I would have a partner in this blogging adventure and that is true… because now, officially, I can say here that my Sydney will soon be a Mushakian, herself 🙂

I imagine I will still be the primary author around these parts, as I’m more the writer in the relationship, but don’t be too surprised if you see posts here and there penned by my bride to be! She will also be the primary source of photography in an upcoming site section, so be sure to keep an eye out for that.

For now, though, I would simply like to conclude with a very proud introduction to my partner, not only at mushakian.com but in life, Sydney Thiessa!

Mark and Sydney bundled up in fog — Heart.

An Introduction

The first hello… and a road-map for this new journey.

Hello 🙂

Everyone enjoys a fresh start, the excitement of a new beginning. I’m very glad to have you here with us in this one!

I will assume that our initial visitors know who I am, so I’ll skip the life story (you can go elsewhere for that), but at the very least, my name is Mark and I’m a Mushakian. Huh… that reads like the introductory greeting at a Mushakians Anonymous meeting. Anyways, I won’t be long-winded in my initial post (don’t worry, long-winded is coming), but I want to simply lay out a direction for this blog — both immediate and long-term.

Coming soon:

Out of the Box is a web comic I created years ago, and I will soon be bringing it to this site in a slightly different form than it once was. More on that later, but first I have to set the comic up at its new home and port over years’ worth of archives. I think the new venue is very fitting, and I’m excited about it! I’m not quite ready to share the link yet, but let’s just say that if this new location was a Halloween costume, it’d be Gram Insta.
I have a couple of short stories that I will be sure to share here, and hopefully my next one won’t be years away.
We’ll be adding a photography section, simply to highlight the work of a budding hobbyist.

Long-term mission:

Though I can exhaust myself at times, I truly do enjoy the creative art of writing, so without grand promises, I hope to make use of that skill here on a regular basis. My primary goal with everything on this new site is to either
1. Entertain, or
2. Enlighten
If we’re not pulling off either one of those qualities in what’s presented here, than it’s probably not worth sharing.
I reserve the right to do things here simply to make my girlfriend giggle/swoon/giggle-swoon — but I’ll try to keep that to a minimum

Mushakian.com blog topics will contain much of the usual one might expect in a personal blog, but our primary interests here are:

life adventures, God, movies, music, and dogs.

Time will change that list, I’m sure, to include food, child-rearing, and who knows what else.

So, here’s to our new journey into the blogging world, hopefully filled with years to come of humor, heart, and creativity. I sincerely appreciate anyone who takes the time to swing by this little blog o’Mushakian, and I hope to make it worth your while! Feel free to subscribe by email for post updates or simply leave a comment saying hello anytime!

A brief note on the site itself: I designed this thing from the ground up (hope you like it!), so while it is purposefully minimal in presentation, if you find that we’re missing something important or if something is broken, I’d really appreciate it if you’d drop me a line.

Personally, the most exciting thing about this new journey is having a partner-in-crime at mushakian.com… but I’ll write about that next week 😉