We’re Engaged!

The big event happened two days ago, Monday afternoon, but let’s go back a little bit first to set the story.

It was August 31 of this year, and I found myself in a jewelry store in Carlsbad Village where I was about to purchase an engagement ring!  Hmm, wait, no… let’s go back a bit further.

It was June 21, 1982, when I first entered the world — crying and covered in goop.  Wait, that’s too far back.

September 30, 2016 — my first date with a beautiful girl named Sydney Thiessa 🙂  Ah, there we are!  I had met her in an adorable, round-about way that I may retell here one day, but not now.  The first time we spent a day together one-on-one, Sydney and I visited the beach in La Jolla Cove.  While there, we noticed a cute Italian restaurant, Acquavite, and Sydney mentioned that she would love to go there one day.

I’ll let you guess where our first date was 🙂

A week after our first date, we made things official, and the previous 2 years have been a fantastic experience of loving her and being loved in return.  From the very beginning, we discussed our future as if it was a given because it felt natural to do so.  Of course, as time went on, conversation skewed even more seriously… we’d mapped out things like the where/when/what of our future wedding ceremony and honeymoon, and from pretty early on it wasn’t a question of IF we’d be married, but simply a matter of when I’d pop the question.

Well, we wonder no more… but the story isn’t quite there, yet.

Defining the ring

Just as Sydney and I meeting was only possible after a long series of events building off of the events which came before them, our engagement story has several steps to it.  A while ago we had started discussing just what she liked in an engagement ring.  Originally, her thoughts were: rose gold, three-stone, simple band.  So, I did plenty of independent research, learned a lot about diamonds and gold, and had actually found what I thought would be our ring.  I kept an eye out and about online, but I was otherwise ready… just waiting for the right time.

Then we went to Arizona.

This past August, Sydney and I joined our church’s youth group on a trip to Arizona.  There we helped serve at an outreach/school for the local native American population, and it was a really great time to not only bond with our students, but for Syds and I to share together in serving God that way.  While that trip is deserving of its own blog post, this adventure played a very crucial part in our engagement story.  On the last full day of the trip, our group took a day for itself and explored a national park.  In one of the gift shops, Sydney noted a silver-colored turquoise ring she liked, and I quietly sneaked off and bought it to surprise her.  She loved how the ring looked on her hand, and the Sunday after our trip was over, she told me that she had changed her mind on ring color!  I am a much bigger fan of silver/white-gold than yellow/rose jewelry tones, so I was personally thrilled to hear it, and we went back to my house to explore what exactly she liked.  What we landed on was white gold, single stone, decorative band.  And vintage… definitely vintage 🙂

The hunt is on

So, I was off… scouring every nook and cranny of the internet in search for the perfect ring for my perfect girl.  I had tabs open on my computer for several online retailers that I would refresh multiple times each day.  I gathered a list of places I could also visit in person, and I began hitting the streets, as well.  On August 31, I had a great lunch with a friend from church, Scott, where we discussed relationship and my future with Sydney.  We also discussed my ring search, and I let him know that I had the names of a couple of local stores that sold estate jewelry.  We ate right next to Sydney’s work, and I actually got to see her for a moment before she started her shift that day.  After a traffic-filled drive down on the freeway (I live ~40 minutes north of my church and her) and a filling lunch, I almost felt like heading straight home afterwards.  I was already on the road, looking at both the south and north on-ramps of the 5 freeway, when I decided to just go ahead and check these stores now anyways.  So, I headed down to Carlsbad… no idea that when I did finally head north to go home later, it would be with an engagement ring in my possession.

My first stop was Copper Canary, and I chuckled when I saw that it was literally right next door to a boutique store Sydney and I had visited weeks earlier during a street art fair.  It was a warm Friday afternoon, and the store was fairly quiet.  A gal was milling about, bouncing a baby on her hip, and chatting with a couple of store workers, while a couple was looking at items at the front of the store.  I strolled in and started browsing a case of antique rings.  I didn’t see anything that fit what I was looking for, so I figured it might be another bust.  For brevity’s sake, it ended up that the gal with the baby was actually the owner of the store in on her day off, and she’s the one who worked with me in presenting a lot of ring options from the back.  It was a really wonderful experience, and for any potential jewelry buyers out there, I highly recommend visiting Allie and her family-run operation.  I was especially lucky, as the owner was able to check the backroom stock while her mom strolled the sleeping baby around the store, and I had very pleasant, relaxed conversation with mom while I waited between batches of rings to view.  Admittedly, I was a bundle of nerves — not anxiety, but excitement of the unknown and big steps — and having this family to chat and go through the ring-selection process with is something I’ll always remember and always be grateful for 🙂

I put the jeweler here to work, too; she brought out several trays of options as I pared down what I was looking for.  There was one ring that stayed out on the counter from the very first tray she brought me, and as I held one of the last rings, I told the jeweler, “Ya know… I’m holding this one in my hand, but my eyes keep moving past it to that one in the tray behind it.”  So, I held that one.  I asked Allie to put it on so I could see it on a female hand (which, apparently, most guys think is a weird thing to ask until they realize that most guys ask).  I held it again.  I took several big breaths.  I took another big breath for good measure.  And then I said, “Let’s do it.”

The ring is wonderfully beautiful — a 1930’s platinum/18k white gold setting with its original European cut diamond.  I asked about the color/clarity rating, and my mouth dropped when she mentioned that they were near-perfect stats.  I’d been studying diamonds so much that I never imagined coming across such a lovely and near-perfect stone for this price, but there it was… and it was mine.  As we wrapped up my sale, the owner, Allie, asked me what my proposal plans were, and I mentioned that I had some ideas, but that I was definitely cemented on waiting until our 2-year anniversary on October 8th.  She laughed and wished me well, saying that once most guys had their ring they couldn’t wait.

I understood what she meant as I walked out of the store beaming and ready to burst.  While in the store I’d texted my lunch-date friend from earlier that I was seriously looking, and once I was out with an engagement ring in my possession I just HAD to tell someone.  I wanted to keep this to myself until the day I popped the question, but I had to share it with at least one person I knew… and he was the one 🙂  By the way, congrats to Scott Hoerner for maintaining the secret right along with me for over a month!

Okay.. so I did tell one more person that day, too.

I had to fill up for gas before hopping back on the freeway, and I was on such a high cloud that I must’ve been a little light-headed from the lack of oxygen in the upper atmosphere.  I got out of the car and forgot to open my gas tank, and as I laughed at myself, I noticed the lady at the pump in front of me notice and smile.  I explained that I’d just purchased an engagement ring, and she offered an understanding nod and congratulations.  I let her know that it was great to tell someone in person, and we laughed as I surmised that I was probably safe to do so with a stranger at a gas station 🙂

The wait

For several days, I kept taking the ring out and just sat on the floor looking at it with a big, goofy grin on my face.  I held it.  A couple of times, I prayed over it and the woman I was going to give it to.  For the most part, though, the ring sat tucked away in my closet.  In fact, Sydney came over and spent time here, completely oblivious that her engagement ring was sitting feet away from her.

I went through a lot of ideas of how I was going to do it.  Sydney didn’t want a big display, nothing public or with a hidden photographer.  This was to be a moment just between us, and so I spent a lot of time trying to find the best venue.  At one point, I was juggling around the idea of setting up her DSLR on a tripod as if we’re going to take a photo together, and then just quietly recording video of it.  I practiced the speech about 783 times, and it was always different.  I spent over a month with this proposal being more than just a one-day possibility, but an impending reality.  And that beautiful lady of mine was none the wiser 🙂

So, over a month later, and we find ourselves at the night before.  I’d decided that it’d be cool to show my dad the ring, and he and I ended up talking for a long time that night: about how Sydney was completely unaware (I’d originally told her I wanted to wait to ask until after she graduated college this May), about how only a few other people in the world even knew I had it, about our wedding plans, and about why I loved her.  When I answered his why question with, “Because she’s comfortable… I’ve never met anyone with whom I am so entirely myself, and she loves me for it,” his eyes watered a bit… and he said that’s exactly how he knew he wanted to spend his life with my mom, too.  My sister wandered into the room, and I ended up showing her.  My mom was fast asleep, so I left her a note on the kitchen table, with the ring, so she could see it, too.

October 8, 2018

Oh boy, anniversary/proposal day!  I picked up my beautiful girl in the early afternoon, and we exchanged our simple gifts/cards in the car before heading out.  I’ve been in need of a way to keep drinks on my nice new desk, so she gave me a cool tree-limb-slice coaster.  I bought her a nice candle: bonfire scented with a cool crackling wick for added effect.  This weekend, during a trip with our youth group to a Christian camp in the mountains, she mentioned that she used to pretend Ring Pops were engagement rings when she was a kid, so as a joke (and to throw her off the trail even more), I also included a Ring Pop in her gift with a P.S. on the card that read “…to help hold you over until I can give you a real one.”  Smooth 😉

We spent the afternoon at Birch Aquarium, and I really enjoyed it… though my nerves were certainly getting the better of me!  She was as cute as button taking photos of all of the fish, and I was busy trying to breathe deeply and keep from being obvious.  I have the advantage of being a guy who sometimes has to endure the physical effects of anxiety, and I do genuinely get a little dizzy by looking through the warped view of fish tanks, so I had a sound excuse for my slight lack of calm.  But I wasn’t shaking, I wasn’t afraid.

I was excited!

Our day was pretty loose, and since we left the aquarium both ready to eat, we decided to make our special dining experience a late lunch instead of an early dinner.  And so, we found ourselves in the restaurant where it all started 2 years and 1 week prior — Acquavite.  We ended up being seated at the same table we sat at for our first date, and during our meal one of our songs ended up playing in the background (“Son of a Preacher Man”… because, ya know, I’m the son of a preacher man).  So many things just kept working out and it was a really wonderful day.  After lunch, I walked us just across the street to a trail that skirts along the ocean cliffs, and we took a seat at a bench overlooking the Pacific.  Sydney wanted to take a few shots of the view, so I sat back and enjoyed the view of her doing so 🙂  Throughout the day I took such joy looking at her, knowing what I was planning and that she had no idea, and reveling in how lucky I am to have her in my life.  Here, as the actual moment finally approached, I was all but overcome with happiness and excitement… that beautiful, adorable, sweet woman standing just over yonder was about to be presented with this gift and promise that I had been holding onto for quite some time.

Satisfied with her shots, Sydney walked back to join me on the bench.  We sat there for a few moments talking, my arm around her as she leaned on me, and I kept an eye on the people walking from either end of the trail.  I knew that she didn’t want a big public display of a proposal, she wanted something intimate and quiet.  I was happy to oblige her desire, and as the trail cleared, my moment had arrived.  I will save exactly what I said for just the two of us, but I wrapped up with a, “So… I have this tissue in my pocket,” as I pulled out the folded tissue that held the engagement ring I’d chosen.  The ring box I’d been given was far too big to conceal anywhere on my person, so that morning I had gently secured the ring within a tissue folded over several times.  I’d been casually sticking my hand in my pocket all morning to feel the tissue and be sure the ring was still there, and now I was bringing it out.

This is when it dawned on her, as I heard a gasp escape Sydney’s lips 🙂

In hindsight, I probably should’ve practiced actually unfolding the flippin’ tissue, because I took what felt like 15 minutes trying to do so in the moment.  I jokingly said, “Well, if I can unfold this darn tissue.. but it’s okay, I’ll wait for these people to pass,” referring then to a couple who had just approached us.  As I loosened the ring finally, the couple had just passed, and I looked at the love of my life and said, “I would love to spend the rest of my life with you as my best friend, and as my wife.”  I gingerly got down on one knee and presented the ring into her view, as Sydney breathed out, “Oh my gosh, is this really happening?”

“Sydney Elise Thiessa… will you marry me?”

Spoiler-alert: amidst the hugs and kisses and smiles, there was definitely a yes in there.  I was still in a daze (a LOVE daze!), so I did jokingly clarify again after getting back onto the bench that she had said yes.  My heart was booming, no longer in anticipatory excitement, but in a peaceful joy and happiness.  My heart wasn’t the only thing booming, however.  As mentioned above, I am a somewhat tense man, and yet with Sydney I find myself more relaxed than ever.  Due to this, an unfortunate side-effect of my relaxed state in her presence is that I also tend to be a little more… farty.  That’s right… I love this woman so much that I’m so physically relaxed that I just fart up a storm around her.  Thankfully, it’s mostly amusing to her, but I bet ya didn’t expect to be reading about farts in a post about a marriage proposal!  But that’s just what happened — a few moments after we’d settled back onto the bench together and she’d been admiring the ring, my body let things rip… and that old wood-slat bench reverberated so much that the loud amplification doubled my bride-to-be in enough laughter to almost knock her off the bench.  I mention this only because, my dear reader, that is what true love really is.  It isn’t the romantic location or grand gestures.  It’s farting on park benches after a marriage proposal and laughing together about it.

An unpleasant turn

So, after a phone call with her mom, a few photos taken, a bit of an explanation of just how much I’d planned without her having any idea, and a few more hugs and smooches, Sydney and I decided to try to make it to Copper Canary to get the ring resized.  It was labeled as a size 6, which is what Sydney should be, but it will definitely need to be trimmed down.

A quick aside: the ring is on her right hand on purpose, if you noticed that in the photo above.  She didn’t want an extra wedding band, so I offered an alternate tradition I’d heard of while growing up — upon engagement, the ring is placed on the right hand, and during the wedding ceremony it is moved to the left hand.  That’s what we’ll be doing, and I had to remind her of the different hand when she offered me her left to place the ring onto.  I can’t imagine why she wasn’t thinking clearly enough to remember 😉

On the car ride out of La Jolla, Sydney got a friend on the phone to share the news and we called my dad and chatted a bit.  Traffic was a bit rough, so we were going to be skirting into the Carlsbad jeweler just minutes before they closed, but I thought we could make it.  Unfortunately, about the same time we got into the car to head to the jeweler, Sydney’s stomach started feeling unwell.  As I steered us through traffic on the freeway, she had really taken a turn for the worse, and I asked if she just wanted us to head straight to a pharmacy first and forget the jeweler.  She nodded yes.  My poor girl was in bad shape by the time I pulled into the Rite-Aid parking lot, and I left her behind with a just-in-case bag as I dashed in first for some stomach pain pills, and then again for a Sprite to help.  We were there for a time, me doing all I could to make her comfortable while also giving her privacy when she felt like things might happen.  For those not in the know, THAT part of being stomach-sick is just about my least favorite act and subject matter (I don’t even like to hear the word or think about it at all), but that was entirely superseded by the fact that I had to take care of my future bride.  At a couple of points I was sure to let her know that she had no reason to feel guilty about suddenly being sick and possibly putting a damper on the rest of our day.

As I told her, my day was made the moment she said, “Yes.”

My aforementioned church friend, Scott, is both my pastor and a married man, so I sent him a quick text about how she was suddenly doing and asked him to pray for her to feel better quickly.  He did one better and asked if he could call, and he and I prayed together.  I really am grateful for God bringing that man into my life!  After a while longer, Sydney said she was ready to just go home, and I drove us as gently as I could back up to Oceanside.  I’d rolled up a jacket I had in the backseat for her to use as a pillow as she leaned against the car door, and as I crawled through traffic she eventually dozed off.  I felt bad that my poor girl had to go through such a public discomfort, I know how miserable it is to be out and about on a fun occasion and then feel like death.  She woke up just as I got us off the freeway, and as we got to her house, she started feeling worse again.  I went in to let her mom know, and we all eventually trooped into the house together.  I gave my fiancée a kiss on the forehead after she gave me a big, soft hug goodbye/thanks/love-you, and I left her to rest up.

One may think that it’s a bummer we ended our engagement day this way, and of course I wish for her sake that she didn’t have to go through that, but ya know what?  Life happens.  We can’t say if it was her meal or what, but the important point is that I was able to be there for her and with her… in sickness and in health, as the phrase goes.  I felt as much love for her when she took my ring as when she took my jacket to rest her sick head on, because that is what love is (also, it’s laughing at farts).  Thankfully she is feeling better, now, and while I made a stop at the grocery store that night to buy myself a carton of lactose-free ice cream to continue the celebration in her honor, I look forward to sharing a bit with her when she’s able 🙂

To the future!

So, that’s it, my friends.  I, Mark Mushakian, am engaged to be married to the beautiful, doe-eyed, spunky, God-fearing, artsy, stylish, sweet (etc., etc.) Sydney Thiessa, and I am absolutely thrilled to be able to say so.  I am certain that there will be plenty of marriage-related posts ahead, but I will leave this novel-length post at just the engagement story for now.  In my introductory post of this new blog/site, I mentioned that I would have a partner in this blogging adventure and that is true… because now, officially, I can say here that my Sydney will soon be a Mushakian, herself 🙂

I imagine I will still be the primary author around these parts, as I’m more the writer in the relationship, but don’t be too surprised if you see posts here and there penned by my bride to be!  She will also be the primary source of photography in an upcoming site section, so be sure to keep an eye out for that.

For now, though, I would simply like to conclude with a very proud introduction to my partner, not only at mushakian.com but in life, Sydney Thiessa!